Oh Jimmy, at one time, I was made to feel that I was hated by God, cast aside. What you see are the fruits of a heavy battle. I was left spiritually exhausted lol... Jimmy, think about any suffering in your life, whether ill, emotional, mental etc.. You can find it there in the cross, in Christ's life.. then you have a better understand of His love for you, You can appreciate what He did for you. I can see all my suffering in His cross, so I can see all His love for me. Does that make sense?
Hate to keep beating a dead horse here but I just can't find it in the cross. I just see a man on cross. I can't relate it to my existence. It's not real to me. Hard to get this all across. I keep going back to...as someone that can see how do you get these things across to someone that can't see. It just doesn't relate. Here is an example. JT put this nice prayer on another thread: "Rejoice At Weakness Saviour, breathe forgiveness o'er us All our weakness thou dost know. Yes I know all. Every cry for mercy.Every sigh if weariness. Every plea for help.Every sorrow over every failure. Every weakness I am with you through all. My tender sympathy is yours. My strength is yours. Rejoice at your weakness, my children. My strength is made perfect in weakness. When you are weak then I am strong. Strong to help, to cure, to protect. Trust me, my Children I know all. I am beside you strong, strong, strong to save. Lean on my love and know all is well." A couple of you seemed to be moved by that prayer internally. I read that prayer and yes it is nice. But to me it is like I am always reading some love letter to another couple or something. It's not for me. I just don't get it. It's just empty nice written words but it doesn't truly resonate in my heart as being effective to me. The words float in my mind and they vanish. I can't make them speak to me internally. Anyway, I will stop now. I know this must be frustrating you...haha. Thanks though.
Jimmy was there ever a time that you were moved by these things? Or is this just the way that you are naturally.
This has become waaaay too much about me. Sorry about that. Thanks for your help. I will just let it rest for now.
'I would love to have the relationship with Jesus like you and Mario describe.' I think Jimmy by the fact that you desire it , you show you already have it. But don't confuse emotions with love. Love is about much more than 'feelings.'
Terry I was touched, very touched by your mention of the indwelling of the Holy Spirit, that God dwells in the very tabernacle of our hearts at all time. It seems to me the story of prayer is in a sense the realisation that this is true. It has always been the very greatest comfort to me, especially when I have been in places were there was no chance to get to mass. But the fact that Jesus is always in our hearts, wow! What could be greater than this....
That is my understanding of what distinguishes between childhood faith and adult faith. I didn't have feelings/emotions thoughts left.. I even thought faith was gone. I had to learn to trust in God's promises alone.
Mary's Child, you need a deep personal suffering in order to mature in your personal faith . You've had it and life spared Jimmy from it yet - that is why you both speak like people from different planets. You have found consolation in Our Lord's Love, but it was your deep need and search for It that opened your eyes and heart...
Elizabeth we are each of us are like different colours of the rain bow. Each of us having the colour of a differing spirituality or type, not only this our own 'colour' can change through our spiritual journey. I think we all of us have to be open to this sense of change as the Holy Spirit blows. Not permitting ourselves to believe that our own, 'colour ' is the best or assuming that everyone else must travel on the same path. I myself have a certain devotion to the blessed sacrament , but I do not seek to impose this devotion on others, nor would I think they were on any wrong path if they did not have such a devotion. Devotionalism is wonderful, but we must see it in a wider context. In effect modern devotion to the Blessed Sacrament only arose in its present form in 19th century France . In many religious orders especially the older one it has not real specific place. I instance for example the Carthusians. A hermit Order who spend their day in a cell, without the Blessed Sacrament. Some more modern orders have devotion to the Blessed Sacrament as their entire reason of being. But that does not mean that they are superior to ancient orders such as the Carthusians, the Cistercians and Benedictines generally. Its a matter of being open to the Spirit in our own life and also being open to the wind blowing in the lives of others in differing ways than our own. I guess I can't think of a better name for it than being spiritually broad minded. An old Jesuit was asked the question one time, 'Father is it alright to smoke when I pray?' The old priest answered , 'You should have asked the question is it alright to pray when I smoke? ' You see broad minded. I like to pray when I am sitting in the toilet, singing in the pub, working in the hospital. I like to pray all the time. As for which is the best time? God alone knows. I am particularly fond of praying in front of the Blessed Sacrament, however for myself I find variety is good. Its wasn't always so but it is now. It might not be in the future, but it is now. I think too we have to differentiate between, 'feeling' our prayers our good. Feelings can be so deceptive.
I agree with a lot of what you are saying here except that you shouldn't assume that I have not had deep personal sufferings and that being the reason that I am speaking from a different planet.
I agree. Our hearts must become tabernacles where the Lord can reside and rest. Prayer is more than asking it is more than speaking; prayer is union with God, a breath, a touch, a glance, a kiss ----
Oh boy.. I asked for it when I asked that question. We are very different. I won't pray when I am getting changed never mind on the loo.. It isn't that I think that my way is better Padraig. I was surprised when you said it used to be your favourite way. I have many forms of prayer too, but for me The Blessed Sacrament and the Mass beat them all. Time with the Blessed Sacrament is one of the devotions that Mother Mary asked for. I hear what you are saying in that we can talk to God anywhere. Indeed we can, and I am always thinking of or talking to Him, etc.. I actually love when I can walk down the road by myself and switch on my praise music. I don't feel my prayers. Feelings and emotions are very deceptive. I have learnt to be rock solid in relying on God's promises alone.. The reason for my complete trust in Him.. Oh my gosh, can you imagine if I relied on what my feelings were telling me? I would have been lost before I began. I am so fortunate (and very much aware that I cannot take any credit for this or indeed any of my faith for it is all gift) in that from a tiny child I had an awareness of God's love for me and as soon as I could read, I dragged the family bible all around the house, it was nearly as big as me, (you know the big family bible?) I absolutely loved reading it. By the time I was in school and I could see the cruelty in others, I could also cut through the truth like a knife with the power of the Gospels knowing that they were not living in accordance when they were being mean and rotten to me, and this is what gave me that great awareness of God's love. It certainly wasn't feeling.. I became so depressed in my teens with everything. But again, I slowly turned around, believing in God's love for me. I learn however, to run very fast from those who professed to love Him but didn't show it to others. It would break my heart all over again. This was/is the real problem in any Church.. when there is a lack of love and living out the faith in truthfulness. I had to ask you about The Blessed Sacrament as I was very surprised by it and had never heard this from anyone before. Certainly to enjoy praying when out walking etc.. I chat away to God in the shops.. (typical woman) I was just very surprised, for to me, everyone says when they get to Heaven they want to sit at the feet of God, and for me, well we are doing just that when we sit before The Blessed Sacrament. Yes, we do all have different walks, another's spirituality wouldn't have been useful in my walk at all.. We are given the spirituality that works for us. Funnily enough, for a time I was unable to meditate, so I just relied again on good solid prayer.. I never knew the difference between meditation and contemplation before, but I understand now.
I just HOPE you don't or did not. It does not feel good to suffer even if it makes us grow or change. No offense infended.
For me meditation was when I entered into mysteries. pictured the whole scene etc.. Now I find I simply gaze up at his love, I can sit for ages and just know that he loves me etc.. I find it really difficult to meditate unless I really push against myself, can be exhausting. It used to be so easy, it was the most natural form of prayer for me at one time.. I am learning (with the aid of a book lol just the one page helped me enormously) not to try to push at this meditation anymore, but to simply gaze up and to be aware of his love. Sometimes, I can get caught up in a tiny thing.. Just looking at the one nail in his hand.. and knowing that he did that for me.. This is different to my usual meditations, this is getting caught up in the love of God ... I think... Sometimes am simply gazing at Him Does that make sense? Hope, I am lousy at describing that which is new to me.. I hope it makes sense to you, I never realized that I had moved from meditation into contemplation.. I just thought it was different..
I don't know if you have ever had an open fire, Hope? Well in the old days we used to have a thing called a poker. It was like an iron bar we used poke in the fire to stir it up. I would say meditation is like the poker we use to stir the fires of the Spirit. It is the use of the imagination and the mind to think on God and the things of God. Contemplation on the other hand is God thinking on us. The Spirit crying ,'Abba Father' giving words to the wordless. The Cure of Ars tells a wonderful story of about this . There was an old peasant who used to go to St Johns early morning mass and leave his spade outside to go into mass. After mass he would pick up the spade to work in the fields. One day the Cure noticed the spade still outside at five in the afternoon. Becoming concerned he went in and found the old guy deep in prayer. The Cure of Ars checked with him and found he had been sitting there all day. 'What do you do all day?' The priest asked. 'I look at God and God looks at me' the old saint said. Now THAT is contemplation.
Yes, thank you Padraig and Mary's Child. That helps. More and more lately, I find myself just stopping in prayer and just gazing at God and then of course when you're still, He speaks deep in your heart. Just being still and knowing that He is God. It seemed to start after I asked Fransico of Fatima to help me in prayer. Some people think he had the gift of great contemplation. When the girls would ask him to pray with them, he would say no, he prefered to pray by himself and would go off and pray by himself. When they went to school, he would go to the church and kneel in front of the Holy Eucharist. Lucy said when they picked him up after school, they would find him in the same position, not even moved, still in front of the Blessed Sacrament. I must really make a daily practice of contemplation and try and find a quiet place just to contemplate God and be with Him. At least I don't think I'm being lazy in prayer now. I'm always telling myself I'm lazy and trying to go back to the prayer.
Ha Ha Hope. Me, I felt like salmon swimming up the stream. Is funny now when i think of it but I was wondering what on earth was wrong with my mind that I couldn't meditate anymore. I kept pushing and just worked extra hard at it, it got exhausting at times. Finally.. God has managed to shut me up for two seconds!
Jimmyiz, If you could get ahold of this little booklet,..I think you may find it helpful. These are revalations to a nun,..Josefa Menendez about mans indifference toward Him in the Blessed Sacrament,..I think you may find it enlightening and uplifting as these words come from Christ and describe His feelings in this sacrament of Love.https://www.chantcd.com/index.php/I-Wait-For-You
