"A fire will come down from heaven and will purify all humanity which has again become pagan. It will be like a judgement in miniature, and each one will see himself in the very truth of God." ("To the Priests" - Fr. Gobbi) Come Holy Spirit, come by means of the powerful intercession of the Immaculate Heart of Mary, your well beloved Spouse!
The purification by fire is also mentioned in Akita. I suspect that is why the visionaries screamed at Garabandal and where so very upset at Medugorje, they were shown the fire as a Marian secret. I also susepct that the visionaries at Fatima were shown this privaelty too. It explains why they were so into penance.
I think it bears reminding that our inner conversation with hte indwelling Christ is not always smooth sailing. A few weeks ago when I was camping I was shown something about myself. It was like going down in an escalator in a life and when the doors open briefly seeing the basemnt was full of spider and rats and snakes and all kind of horrible squirmy things. What I was shown was a brief glimpse at my own inherent selfishness through a series of insights. For instance if I am making a cup of coffeeee I always choose th ebst cup for myself and so on. I found this very,very painful ineed, mostly because it was such an eye opener. If I had been properly humble it would not have hurt at all. I understand that seeing this was only a samll part of my sinfulness. Funnilly enough I was telling someone about this last night and they were saying how lucky I was to get a grace like this how wonderful it was. When I told him how very,very painful it was they still insisted how much they would like to experience it themselves. I suppose it is a grace. But I can only say the Illumnation of Conscience is going to be a real wow. A very,very painful wow. A blessing yes, but incredibly painful .Well at least for me. For humble people I suppose it will be a lot easier. Getting faced with these things is real punch in the face.
Ditto Padraig!! Over the last 2 months the Lord has been showing me many of my past sins. It has been so very painful! The majority of the time lately, I am in a sad and shameful state for two reasons, 1] I am ashamed of myself and feel humilitated and 2], because I know I am so dispicable that I do not deserve heaven, in any way whatsoever. The memories of the sins are coming during the day and I am constantly asking God to forgive me. I have been to confession at least 4 times in the last 2 months. I have the presnece of mind to place my undeserving self in Our Ladys hands and during prayer I am pleading with heaven [especially Our Blessed Mother] to help me as I can't do this alone, as it is so painful. I can't explain the pain I am in, when I see these past sins. So I have been wondering whether I have confessed these sins adequately enough in the past? I've also wondered whether its just satan placing these images in front of me to remind me of my transgressions so that I will feel so bad I will despair? I have also wondered whether this may just be a foretaste of the warning, but I think that this thought, is just me trying to placate myself in this pain? I really can't tell, all I know is that I depend totally on Gods Mercy. Tonight, during the rosary, I got an insight..... to offer this pain with the words of a Fatima prayer .......... 'This is for love of you Jesus, for the conversion of sinners, for Our Holy Father the Pope and in reparation for for the sins committed against the Immaculate heart of Mary' I also got an insight into something else that may be helpful to others and I will try to exlpain this later. God Bless us all, one and all. Divine Mercy of Jesus, I trust in Thee.
Padraig, Your post got me off my Olympics viewing position (on the sofa) and prompted me to get to midday mass and confession and to confess all the times I have put myself first. Since I got up this morning, I had been feeling very lazy, telling myself to stay put and have a quiet day. Your post swiftly changed my mind. In the sermon our priest said that many Saints had a terrible sinful past but they were able to attain Sainthood through prayer, and there is hope for all of us.
I think a large part of the pain has been for me, has been simply not knowing that these things were there. It is a bit of a shocker. But Scripture is quite definite about this, that nothing that is not holy can stand in the presence of the Lord. Psalm 24:3 3Who may ascend into the hill of the LORD? And who may stand in His holy place? 4He who has clean hands and a pure heart, Who has not lifted up his soul to falsehood And has not sworn deceitfully.… I think my own great mistake has been to regard sins as single incidents , rather than taking the longer view and seeing them as a process, as a whole. Thus not simply being selfish from time to time in incidents but as being selfish, greedy, lazy and so on...taking a birds eye view so to speak. I can see now why the siants say very few people eget right into heaven without passing through purgatory. But it a real blessing to get this insight , or a least a tiny little bit of it. I think if God let me see the whole picture I would just roll up and die.
I think it is a bit like and onion. We peel of one layer of sin then we see another and another and another. But God can, if He wants peel off several layers at the one go. Even show us the whoel rotten deal at one hit if He likes. But I am not depressed by all this. it is a blessing. It reminds me of putting salt in a wound to clean it. But I can see the improtance now of the Jesus prayer. I said it a lot when I saw the bad news. But I am positive. God wouldn't show me the bad without giving the graces to become better and heal. It is all positive. It's just abit of shock. I had thought I was a lot better than I am. Lots and lots and lots better. Sigh. Now I know better.
Think of yourself in a time warp (speeding fast but in slow motion)...and all your sins flash in front of your eyes. But you also have a feeling that everyone else knows your secret sins. Not only do you feel humiliated... but devastated. Not only do you begin to understand the power of God...but you begin to understand how unworthy you are as a sinner. And at that lowest point you begin to see all the world sins. It is unbearable to have true knowledge of sin. Immediately afterwords Some are sent directly to hell. your path was chosen by you alone. Nothing can be done, you will never see good again. Some will see (through the Grace of God) all the love and good they have done. The kind words, the loving hugs...those special moments you thanked God. The doors of heaven will be opened. The 3rd group will not see the good but will be sent to a dark place. The only sense of hope will be a speck of light. One will feel lost but will battle towards the light. As one becomes purified...the light will grow. Once they reach the light... Pugatory will disappear. All the beauty (through the grace of God) will open up and you will see all the love and good you have done. The gates of heaven will be open. Throughout the ages, some have woken up after the experience and have lived their life with the experience. They have their own cross to bare on earth. They walk alone with the burden of knowing sin is real. In the final days the whole world will get zapped. It will be Gods final gift to mankind. Some will convert, some will ignore, some will blame mass hullucination and some will give it a scientific term and say it was our subconscious and totally human. We are in those final days... be it one year or a thousand years. May Gods Will be Done
I find that the reason we sin is because we area trying to find peace and gratification in the world. But because of the nature of sin, it impossible to bring about genuine peace and gratification by them, in fact they bring the opposite. Sin is paradoxical, the more we try to find happiness through sin the more anxiety we end up with. So unless a person can conquer their anxieties, they will continue to sin. Then like the layers of the onion you mentioned, you pull back one layer and you find a whole other lot of issues that exist. Sins are interdependent. Sin also is blinding in that they distort reality. Eventually the good appears bad, and the bad appears good. The amount of times I thought I was doing good, only to find out I was an idiot are too numerous to count. Just like a teenager who knows everything, who in 5 years they realize they did not know as much as they thought, and in 10 years to find out they knew nothing. Looking back at my life is often like looking at a series of car accidents, each one compounding on the other. I am sure that if Adam and Eve never ate the apple, I would have. I like how the Saints put it. Everything that is good in them comes from God, everything that isn't is their fault. They never take any credit, and see themselves as wretched beings. Because as we commit sins against the Holy Spirit, we open the door to the opponent. If that door was never opened to the opponent by our own volition, we would not have sinned, thereby going against our true nature. Likewise if we never opened the door to the opponent, we would only be influenced by the Holy Spirit, and everything good coming from us would only be an extension of God. As my conversion continues I find the only answer is Jesus and the Holy Family. It is what we are looking for in the first place. We all know this, and yet concupiscence continues. Hopefully we can become Holy before we die, make it to purgatory, and eventually reach Heaven. I am so tired of hurting people, being hurt, offending God, wounding Jesus and our Blessed Mother.
Don't let the enemy win - Jesus always forgives our sins in Confession, and just our desire to be holy is so pleasing to Him. God bless you.
The same thing happened to me a few months ago in May! I, too, went to Confession a lot, something like 3-4 times in a 2 week period. It was such a flood of yucky memories and a keen awareness of my sinfulness!! Quite convicting! I mainly felt the weight of sins from my past; 20-30 years back. Then I had the realization that I'd been receiving the Eucharist with the weight of all the sins upon my soul. Each time I went to Confession, I had a LONG list written down. I didn't want to take the chance of forgetting something. I personally believe that is the grace of God's mercy during this Year of Mercy. I have continued to ask God to reveal any more forgotten sins to me, but I also ask Him to be gentle when He does. My prayers have changed a bit too. I find myself saying "Lord, have mercy on me, for I am a sinner" much more often. Interesting to hear that other people are having similar experiences. I had wondered a few months ago if my death was imminent and God was preparing me. Or maybe He is preparing us for the Warning? I now prefer to think that it has to do with the Year of Mercy. Only God knows!!
I always end my personal confession with "For these and any other sins that I cannot remember, I humbly ask pardon of God, and penance and absolution of thee, Father." That provides a true sense of peace about any past sins I may not remember. I'm fortunate that my past and present spiritual directors have used this form of absolution: “May the Passion of Our Lord Jesus Christ, the merits of the Blessed Virgin Mary and of all the Saints, whatever good thou shalt have done or evil endured, be for thee unto the remission of thy sins, the increase of grace, and the reward of everlasting life. “I absolve thee from thy sins in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Ghost. Amen.”
Same here. Having lots of convicting by the Holy Spirit. I squirm and am uncomfortable when I think about my sins at those times, but it is important to mention that the gravity of those sins may not be as severe, since they are in the past, and our intention to sin may not have been there, or may not have been as grave. I had a Catholic teacher who was trained by nuns at turn of century of 20th century who always told the girls that you are judged by your lights. That sounds weird but it means that God judges us by our lights at the time we commit the sin. Where were we in our spiritual development when we committed the sins. I think it means also our level of understanding of the sin at the time. Remember, mortal sins must be confessed 1. Must be a serious matter 2. You must know it is a serious matter 3. You must commit the sin with full consent of the will. Otherwise, it is a great thing to confess venial sins and tendencies to sin, but not necessary for reception of worthy Holy Communion. Now we have to try to sort this all out
Interesting! My past sins come before me very often since my conversion experience, but I confessed them previously, but they still annoy me. I was thinking that maybe it is God's way of keeping us humble. Also I had a prayer like yours "Jesus my Lord have mercy on me". It just popped into my head and I repeated it very frequently every day for a few years. God Bless
Yes Pray4peace, like you, these sins that are coming to mind so vividly are mainly the sins of 30-40 years back. Like Padraig I am so shocked and a large part of the pain has been simply not knowing that these things were there or really how ugly they were and are and also I have a keen awareness that these sins would have influenced others to sin as well! Like Brian at every confession I always end my confession with, for these sins, and all the sins that I can't remember, I am trully sorry. The problem is I am now remembering them! I remember watching a video about Padre Pio and one gentleman who went to confession to him; Padre Pio said to him...... 'you have forgotten something'! and would not give him absolution until he remembered and confessed this sin that he had forgotten but the gentleman could not think of anymore sins!, so Padre told him which sin it was and described it to him [it was a sin of the flesh of his youth] and the memory of it all came back to this gentleman. Padre Pio said that he had been carrying this sin around for years!
I think different people relate to Jesus dwelling in our hearts in different ways. For instance it is quite common to see muns and women generally relate to Jesus as the Divine Spouse as in the scriptural, 'Song of Songs'. Which is perhaps the greatest love poem ever written: Song of Solomon 4:12 Solomon Admires his Beloved …11"Your lips, my bride, drip honey; Honey and milk are under your tongue, And the fragrance of your garments is like the fragrance of Lebanon. 12"A garden locked is my sister, my bride, A rock garden locked, a spring sealed up. 13"Your shoots are an orchard of pomegranates With choice fruits, henna with nard plants,… ..and I think wcan see this so well portrayed in Santa Maria della Vitorio in Rome, in the statue of St Teresa of Avila , by Bernini, whose heart is being pierced by the Divine Lance. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ecstasy_of_Saint_Teresa
But of course for a man like myself the idea of Jesus as a Spouse is maybe not so helpful. My own kind of type in relationship is kind of like best friend. But everyone is different, we might be realting to Jesus as freind, as brother ,as spouse as Father and so on...a case of horses for courses. But the type of our realtionship will probably be heavily affected by own own relationships in life. If for instance I have had a very harsh and nasty father we are unlikely to relate to Jesus as a father figure, for that would be a big turn off. Everyone is different, we each take our own path in prayer... But the idea of Jesus as a Spouse for women , especially nuns seems such a good one, we see it over and over again. It seems to be the main deal.
