The Grace of Slowing Down "To live in humility is to live always in total confidence of God's love, protection, and guidance and, therefore, to have no concern for yourself..." — The Simple Path to Union with God As I age, I find myself slowing down in many ways. When I was younger, slowing down, especially while reading, was difficult. Whether practicing Lectio Divina or reading theology, literature, and other religious texts, I moved quickly through books. My retention was good, but much of my reading was driven by a desire to find answers to life's mysteries. I read broadly and voraciously. It was enriching and shaped my understanding of the world and my faith. Perhaps that is simply what many young men and women do. Over the years, however, my relationship with reading began to change. I found myself reading less but reflecting more. Rather than rushing through pages, I lingered over passages, allowing them to unfold gradually. What I read began to penetrate more deeply, enriching my prayer life and helping me focus my energies on living my monastic vocation more faithfully. It has taken many years to reach this point, and I am still learning. Yet the urgency of needing to understand everything has diminished. I am now more interested in living each day well, in prayer and service, while honestly facing my own weaknesses, struggles, and sins. As I grow in trust and learn to accept myself in Christ Jesus, my attention turns less toward myself and more toward those whom I am called to love and serve. This is not my accomplishment, but the work of grace. God honors our efforts, our failures, and our willingness to begin again. These days I keep certain books close at hand, returning to them again and again. Each reading takes me deeper. In truth, it becomes a different book because I am no longer the same reader. I am farther down the river than I was before, and the words meet me in a new place. I have come to believe that human beings mature slowly. Mistakes are not obstacles to growth but often its beginning. We learn through failure, through repentance, and through listening to what others tell us about ourselves, especially when it is difficult to hear. The death of self comes at a cost, but it is a price worth paying. It asks us to surrender our illusions, our need for control, and our endless preoccupation with ourselves. Yet what awaits us on the other side is freedom. In the end, only God knows us completely. Our task is simple, though never easy: to continue in trust, hope, and love, no matter what life places before us. Br. Mark Dohle
I love reading a Spiritual Book before I go to sleep at night. Because I wake up several times during the night I keep coming back to the little passage I read. Maybe even letting it affect my dreams. Because I fall asleep so quickly I can only read a very little. But it works out I give this small passage a huge amount of time. Our Lady at Medugorje recently suggested we take one of the Mysteries of the Rosary and give loads of time to it. St Therese of Liseaux said she only read scriptures towards the end of her life.
