No this started roughly 6 years ago... I did a stint in the Arctic at Alert Military Base. Not having a lot to do with my spare time... I spent a lot of it reading the lives of saints, meditating, and praying. It was hard for me to meditate because my back and neck was always in pain, then one day in meditation the pain turned into bliss all at once. Since then I typically experience a euphoria of some kind when I pray. Sometimes it happens on its own and I don't even notice it as it happens all day. But I also have my crosses, like most people do. What I find interesting about Gods graces is that I have an abundance in some areas, and in others I struggle very much. My life is not an even layout. I suppose its all a grace when I think about it. Suffering is a grace too.
My favourite book other than the Bible is The Ascent of Mount Carmel by St. John of the Cross. I think it was this book that I was reflecting on when it happened.
I would suggest the Divine Mercy Chaplet daily as well.....at 3 p.m. if you can. For a great daily meditation delivered to your email each day...go here: http://yearofmercy.org/signup
Yes... I don't have any control of it. But when I think about it, its like my internal posture changes, and sometimes it starts up again. I can't be in a place of freneticism, frustration, hate, or anger at the same time for this to happen.
I have spoken to Priests about it, they say its a gift. The main thing is not to focus on it, and to keep on focusing on God. I find it is strongest in front of the blessed sacrament.
You are too kind. I am certain that I need plenty of guidance myself. I keep telling the Lord that I'm yearning for Him, and ask Him to speak. John 10:27 My sheep hear my voice. I know them, and they follow me. Alas, I haven't heard the Lord's voice.
I remember the voice saying that they were going to show me, 'The first thing'. So I am sure there were many other rotten things to show me that would have thrown me even more. Perhaps indeed this was the very least of my faults and sins and so the one I could bear to see head on the easiest. I think the Spiritual Life is, or should be, like an onion. We peel away one layer of sin and are faced with another layer of sin and face yet another and another and another that we never even noticed , I believe this will continue til lwe die since we are truly all sinners, it is not just words , it is the simple truth. Reading the lives of the saints this becomes so plain. They are conscious of faults , that to be quite honest, on readng them they do not even appear to be wrong. I don't even recognise them as bad. But in the lives of at least two saints, (Saint Francis of Rome being one) who were visibly accompanied by their Guardian Angels who corrected them they were acutally hit by their angels for doing wrong things. You know the wrong things that their angels hit them for and which the angels were angry about, I don't even recognise as faults. I have the stomache churning idea that if my Guardian Angel were to hit me for faults we would be in a permanent , 'Cage Fight' with myself and myself being knocked into a state of permanent uncoiusness for the rest of my life. he would be punching, kicking, head butting and whacking me with a baseball bat non stop from now into Eternity. But again from the lives of the saints , such a Padre Pio and the Cure of Ars, it is a case of horses for courses. The saints when they gave Direction for souls did not treat everyone the same. If someone could take it and needed it they could be very,very tough. If someone needed the gentle touch they got that too. None of us are on the same stage of the Spiritual Journey, just as none of us are lined up for the exact same choir in heaven.
In this I feel very, very jealous of married people. Who in the course of my ordinary day is going to tell me my faults and pull me up over the coals for them?? No one but my dogs I suppose. Married people have their spouses to correct each other and some of them have teen aged children who will never ever stop telling them their faults. Never,ever, ever Despite their angst I envy spouses and parents of teenagers this great gift. None of them will go down into the grave without having loud alarms sounded. I think then people who are single need to be aware of the mission of their guardian angels in this regard. That the good ideas and thoughts that come into their heads are in fact usually coming from an angelic source. Exodus 23:20 “Behold, I send an angel before you to guard you on the way and to bring you to the place that I have prepared.
You envy being married? I don't, I came close a couple times. Both times I backed out. No wife nagging, no kids back talking, all the time in the world for prayer, mass, and reading. Then there is the in-laws... no thanks. One set of parents is enough for me. The only thing about a relationship I miss is how committed I was to the other person in my heart. How your heart is so committed to doing everything for them. Unfortunately this always worked one way in my relationships, and seeing the writing on the wall I backed out both times.
I think being married is a vocation, just as being single is a vocation. I knew form childhood that I was never supposed to be marreid and when I was a child dedicated myself to Blessed Virgin in this regard. But of course most of my family and firends are amrried so I got to see the advantages close up. I can see why most people , the great majority are meant to be married. One great advaantage is that they get to get carried at times. each of them take turns carrying each other over their shoulders. There is no one to carry me but my poor Lord. I suppose that is what marriage is in a way, taking turns carrying. Just as it is for good soldiers.
Seems great... then your spouse dies, your kids leave the faith, and you go it on your own again. Nothing is permanent... seen it happen to everyone. Life is mostly suffering because of our sin... its better to carry the cross and die young IMO. St. Terese de Liseux got it right.
The Cure of Ars one time was approached by a lady who wnated him to pray for a miraculous healing for her yery young daughter who was dying. The Cure of Ars told her that her young daughter was very, very blessed to be taken home so young from this Valley of Tears. But I don;t know. I am sixty years now and every day I value life more and more as the very greatest of gifts. I looked around me the other day at the world I saw and my heart leapt with joy at what I saw. Such a gift. Having observed many people who were in the Death Process I noticed this ; that the valued life so highly. They savoured it, each passing day , knwoing it was soon to be taken away from them. I don;t really see as much difference now between heaven and Earth as I used too , feeling God so slose. The one reason I really, really want to live is to help poor souls. If living forever and suffering forever coudl save just one soul I would choose to suffer here forever. It is like a hunger for souls. I also think if God would permit it I would gladly go to hell myself to save some poor soul , my greatest consolation being that at least one soul in hell would love God very,very much. I think St Paul said something along these lines: Philippians 1:21 o Live is Christ 20I eagerly expect and hope that I will in no way be ashamed, but will have complete boldness, so that now as always Christ will be exalted in my body, whether by life or by death. 21For to me, to live is Christ, and to die is gain. 22But if I go on living in the body, this will mean fruitful labor for me. So what shall I choose? I do not know.…
I love the bit about a guardian angel giving some saint a whack. I wonder what that was for. In my own home made prayer I ask God to permit my guardian angel and patron saint to protect, direct and correct me. I am not aware of any mystical bruises to date. But that could be because God has not heard my prayer yet. Or worse, I am too blind and deaf and stupid to have noticed.
I also prayed that my angel would direct me more severely when I needed it. So I was upset at work, began gossiping about the offending coworker, I knew I should have stopped but was too upset to listen to reason, then I divulged something the other person did not know that I thought she knew. I was stunned because I usually do not do that but then I realized I enjoyed it perversely. Then I felt a hit on my chest. Right in the center hard so that I fell back a bit and was shocked. I apologized out loud right then to Jesus and the coworker. Made an excuse and left and went to confession soon after. So I am thinking that if you pray for it you will get the guidance physically if you need it.
Lovely thread.... a word more on the scent of roses. I've experienced it only once. I pray with two other women and we have been meeting together for some years. When St Therese's relics came to Aylesbury, the other two decided to go. I stayed at home because I had a broken ankle and was not very mobile. Anyway, they visited me soon afterwards and as they stood in the doorway I saw one of them holding a white rose. The scent from it was beautiful - so when Bernie handed it to me I put it to my nose. It was actually artificial and had no scent at all so the other two thought it rather funny. I told them that I had indeed smelt roses when they appeared. I did wonder if it was psychological, but am more inclined to believe that St Therese came to me because I could not go to her. I don't have an especial devotion to her, so it's just a case of one of God's little surprises. I love it when these happen. The only other time I smelt perfume was in an empty church where the head of St Thomas More is preserved. It's kept in a chamber beneath the floor and can't be seen. The only people there were my husband and myself although the church was open. He couldn't smell anything. The scent reminded me a bit of a perfume that I like, so I did wonder if someone had recently been there, but there was no sign at all of this and I am not sure how long a perfume would linger after the wearer has gone. I am still not sure what to believe. I've always been quite close to St Thomas and in the past little reminders of him used to crop up from time to time, particularly when they would be most helpful. Has anyone ever heard the chanting of monks in an empty place? My good friend Bernie (as above) is not a fanciful person at all - she has a science degree - but she heard the monks singing while visiting the ruins of Rievaulx Abbey. So clear was it that she thought that English Heritage had a concealed sound system. When she mentioned it to her husband he was mystified "What singing?" and her sons could not hear anything either. She asked at the entrance kiosk and the employee confirmed that no chant was played. I've known her for a quarter century and I believe she received a great grace. I later learned from a priest friend that some people have heard similar monastic chant at Westminster Abbey. Just before the monks returned to Pluscarden in Scotland, which was rebuilt on medieval ruins, a bishop who was driving past noticed the lights on in the new chapel and decided the monks must be in choir, although they were not due to take residence for another few days. Later he learned that in fact the monks had not moved in and the light was inexplicable. Perhaps it was a workman? However the monks themselves believe it was miraculous, a sign that the former residents, driven out at the Reformation, were rejoicing at the new foundation.
