Out of control downward spiral!

Maybe. But he is not so young anymore. He is a man who needs to take responsibilty for himself.

 

"For a just man shall fall seven times and shall rise again: but the wicked shall fall down into evil." [Proverbs 24:16]
"Confess therefore your sins one to another: and pray one for another, that you may be saved. For the continual prayer of a just man availeth much."
[James 5:16]

Keep doing what is right in the Lord and do not give into the temptations of the devil and the flesh. God's grace is sufficient.

 

Yes, but we are not familiar enough with him or his situation. And he is still young enough that these drives can be very overwhelming. Everyone is different. For some men this isn't a difficult thing at all and for some the task is a gargantuan struggle every day.

You're right it isn't good to coddle, but we have to be gentle and supportive as well. As long as he knows it is serious sin and is obviously very upset by it and wants to stop I think we need to be cautious. He already is very angry at himself so coming down too hard on him might lead to despair. He already seems on the verge of it right now. As someone who left the Church for two decades over not being able to overcome sins of the flesh, I am very sensitive to what he is going through. Better he keeps fighting it than gives up.

 

I agree completely and I think that he is taking responsibility by seeking accountability. Ideally this should be with someone he can talk with face to face but having also gone through this I will always encourage someone no matter how many times they fall to not lose hope, to not sink into despair and to soldier on. RW wants to overcome this. If he honestly looks at the situations leading to it, throws himself into prayer, helping others and pro-actively avoids situations which bring on temptation he will triumph over it with God's Grace.

 

RW, you are a brave soul and one of the only members I recall who has bared his soul and asked for help. You tell the truth! That is so good! It is so easy to hide sins. It is not the right thing to do, of course, so you are halfway there since you have been so forthcoming about your sins and failings. Take courage. Pray for courage and strength. God bless you. You are moving in the right direction.

 

Being married for over 30yrs I understand the man's brain is wired quite differently.

If the conscience is saying 'no' prior to sin and yet still continue, this is not good.
What do we say if a married man comes on here and says how he falls into constant sin with his secretary because she comes on to him in her lingerie?
Or what about the man who gets off watching lesbians on the internet?
These too are weakness of the man's brain.

Sometimes you just have to say 'stop it!'
So Rosary Wielder if you are serious, take control of yourself.
You belong to God so keep it that way!

 

The computer and internet are partly the source of the problem, but not all of it. I have developed the habit of shutting down my iPhone and placing it outside my bedroom and it has helped a lot. And I think, returning my plan of fasting from the internet might also help.

However a lot this has to do more with what's in my head, than the internet and computers.

 

While my diocese still doesn't have any qualified spiritual directors, apart from the lay person I'm seeing, the priests still do give advice while in confession, and I have been trying to take their advice very seriously. I'm also trying to keep my eyes open for other things, like doing corporal works of mercy, and doing simple things on the natural level to overcome this. Tomorrow after mass, I plan seeing if I have enough time to take a quick walk in a nearby park before catching the bus back home.

 

I'll returning to my fast from the internet, which was interrupted due to something that I mentioned on another thread. I'll check on here once more to see any replies, and respond to anything that needs responding to.

I'll return by Christmas at the earliest.

 

Anyone who has an alcoholic in the family knows that this is a predilection that is very hard to overcome.

It is not like a light switch that one can just turn off. If only it were that easy.

Telling someone just to stop being so weak and man up, take control of yourself is quite an easy thing to say. It sure sounds like tough love but it just doesn't work that way.

For a minority of men addiction to pornography, impure thoughts and acts are the equivalent to alcoholism in that they are an ingrained pattern of mind and habit that are bonds to sin that are incredibly hard to break. St Paul says that anyone who sins is a slave to sin. So we are talking about spiritual warfare and weakness of the flesh in a society that is saturated by impurity.

You are right it is a serious sin to give into the sins of the mind and to sins the flesh. Our Blessed Lord warned us men particularly about this issue --

"You have heard that it was said to those of old, 'you shall not commit adultery.' But I say to you that whoever looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart. If your right eye causes you to sin, pluck it out and cast it from you; for it is more profitable for you that one of your members perish, than for your whole body to be cast into hell. And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and cast it from you; for it is more profitable for you that one of your members perish, than for your whole body to be cast into hell"

So we need to do everything in our power to overcome our vices - for some it can be very difficult indeed and a life-long struggle. Admitting you have a problem is a difficult first step but a necessary one in order to rely totally on the grace and strength of God who alone save us. Without grace we cannot overcome sin.

 

The spiritual life is a journey, not a destination. RW is on the journey, God bless him.

 

Go to Seraphic Mass Association online and have some Masses said fir yourself
Your Special Intention
It benefits the mission priests who offer the Masses and it is of eternal value to you

 

This is why porn is so very evil. Images take years and maybe a life time to erase from the mind. Prayer, sacraments and some daily penance is all we have to fight this evil of the flesh. This is why the evil one is using the internet and TV to pervert the minds of God's children. I don't think there is one sin more deadly to the soul then pornography for this reason.

 

Prayer, my friend. Try spontaneous, simple prayers to repeat throughout the day. "Jesus, King of Love, I trust in Your merciful goodness" is one. My struggle is with pride, anger, revenge. I can waste whole days like that. It's sick. Prayer helps. As many times a day as you need to, wrench the mind back to prayer, snd keep going!

 

Rosary, try fasting. When things get bad, overeating, sugar, and gluttony make it worse. Maybe try cutting back on snacks, sugar, or any other food vice that tends to take center stage. That can help!