Is there any way to get your mind off of your pain and focus on the pain Jesus endured when He felt abandoned by the Father. I am in considerable physical pain right now (sciatica) and I have found that focusing on what Jesus suffered in His passion helps me turn it around and make it a gift to Him. In the Eternal Now of God the Passion is ongoing. Think what comfort you can bring Him by offering your suffering in the actual moment of His suffering that He may be consoled. The pain does not go away but it is channeled toward Jesus and somehow knowing it is easing His suffering gives it power and meaning. Please think about this approach. Garabandal is right. Contemplate being with Mary on the Via Doloresa. Put yourself there as you pray the Rosary and offer Him what poor comfort you can. Believe me He will be grateful. And so will Our Lady. And what better way to frustrate the devil. He means to drown you in despair in this hard testing but instead you are aiding Jesus in making His way to Calvary. Giving Him strength and love and your sacrifice.
Here is a sonnet I wrote some years ago when feeling darkness. It was written in the midst of sorrow and silence. So many of us have walked this path Peter. I share it here for you. Its very personal so hard to do but I think Jesus would like me to. Gethsemane Prayer Dear Jesus there is so much pain around My heart constricts. My tears can never quench These new sorrows burned on thorny ground Where old sorrows smoke. How they wrench And pull my weary heart into such shapes Only You can recognize me only You Can heal Me. If I could I would escape This wreckage of my pain like hirelings do. And yet You ask me if I'll drink the cup For You as you drank at Gethsemane Oh give me strength to take the chalice up And bear this Cross awhile to Calvary Lest I like Simon grumble at the load When from Cyrene he met You in the road.
Dear Sanctus, I am praying for you. Is it that (1) you feel God is far away from you due to lack of Faith and temptations to atheism, i.e., doubting the existence of God? Or is it that (2) you firmly believe in the existence of God but you feel unforgiven for past sins? Or perhaps both? I do think ad AED, josephite and others have said, your feelings of abandonment are a great opportunity to unite your sufferings to those of Jesus in Gethsemane and on the Cross. And to the Seven Sorrows of Mary. I am thinking too of St. Jacinta who said to make of everything you do a sacrifice to be offered to God for the salvation of souls. I dare say I know a thing or two about the dark night of the soul. I live through one constantly. But I will leave that testimony for later. We should not focus too much on ourselves. I am lecturing myself primarily but it may be useful for you too. "God wills that we see our wretchedness and meekly acknowledge it, but he does not will that we brood on it or that we are too full of wretchedness toward ourselves." (Julian of Norwich, in Revelations of Divine Love) I have heard it said here and elsewhere that one thing that strengthens our Faith is to practice Charity. It gets our attention off ourselves. This is the reverse of what one might expect - a bit like physically smiling then making you feel happy. Try to do spiritual and corporal works of Mercy. I need to do much more of them myself, but I believe that they bring many graces not just on the intended targets but on ourselves. I give the following as an example of Charity. I know we are officially out of the month for the Holy Souls, but I practiced periodically a form of praying the Rosary in November which I thought of myself. I do not know if this is an orthodox way of praying it, but I asked Our Lady for a dispensation from the normal meditations on the mysteries. Instead I meditated and prayed for a different soul with each Hail Mary. These were people who have died whom I knew personally or less closely or indeed those I just knew-of or whom I came in contact with in my life to date. I was able to cover 4 whole 5 decade Rosaries with these about 200 souls. Then one can expand it out to those you've learnt about through the news etc. This spiritual work of Mercy, I found, gave me a great feeling of peace and spiritual satisfaction. And we know that the Holy Souls can pray for us when we pray for them and their prayers are efficacious. I think one can look on the dark night of the soul both in terms of the spiritual pilgrim journey (the 3 Ages, and the 7 Mansions of St Teresa of Avila) and in terms of Spiritual Battle and the Deception of the evil one. Since we are all branches on the vine or different parts of the Mystical Body of Christ, there are to some extent varying spiritualities between persons. Some people are more suited to Spiritual Battle, others to the Elevator of Love (St. Therese of Lisieux). Some people are blessed with mystical experiences, interior voices, visions and locutions, infused knowledge etc. Others have to be content just with seeking God. Only by seeking God can we know God and serve God. And we serve God by doing His Holy Will. But seeking God is very important. God Wills that we seek him with all our will. A good way of seeking God is to read Holy Scripture. God imparts His gifts to whom and in what measure He pleases. We just need to stay humble and wait on the Lord. "Thou hast said, 'Seek ye my face.' My heart sings to Thee, 'Thy face, Lord, I do seek.'" (Psalm 27:8) I find this quote helpful: "If we seek God with a sincere heart and try to do His Will, we can have confidence, in spite of our suffering, of being resurrected into this eternal joy of God's unconditional love in Heaven." (Fr. Spitzer, SJ) I also like this: "In this life our lot is not to enjoy God, but to do His Holy Will." (St. Teresa of Avila) I think that no matter how thick the blanket of fog is, which prevents us from being aware of God's presence, every now and then the clouds do part and a ray of light is let in. I interpret this in terms of the 'fiery darts' that St. Teresa of Avila speaks of. These fiery darts come usually every day or several times a day for me and then they are gone. When they come I blurt out what used to be called ejaculations. For example, "My Jesus, I love you, I praise you and I thank you." "Heavenly Father we praise and glorify you." "My God, help me to do your Holy Will." "My Jesus mercy, Mary help." "Come Holy Spirit and posess me." "I love you Jesus, my love above all things. I repent with my whole heart for having offended Thee. Never permit me to separate myself from Thee again. Grant that I may love Thee always and then do with me what Thou wilt." "Lord Jesus Christ son of the Living God have mercy on me a sinner." "Jesus meek and humble of heart, make my heart like unto thine." "I am all yours my Queen and my Mother and all that I have is yours." "Lord, that I may know Thee. Lord, that I may see Who Thou art." Prayer is a whole topic in itself on which Padraig and others have written with great inspiration. I think it is very important to praise God on prayer. Praise God in all circumstances. I do like this Prayer against Depression by Saint Ignatius Loyola: O Christ Jesus, When all is darkness and we feel our weakness and helplessness, Give us a sense of your presence, Your love, and Your strength. Help us to have perfect trust in Your protecting love and strengthening power, So that nothing may frighten or worry us, For, living close to You, We shall see Your hand, Your purpose, Your Will through all things. Amen. I would again advise you, if you have not done so, to consecrate yourself to the Blessed Virgin Mary. Ask Mary to take you by the hand, to never let you go, and to lead you to Jesus. As St. Louis Marie de Montfort says in his True Devotion to Mary, Mary is the quickest, easiest and most sure way that leads to Her Son. On point number 2 above, I like this quote from St. Thomas Aquinas: "Considering the Omnipotence and Mercy of God, no one should despair of the salvation of anyone in this life." I also like to remember that when Peter asked "Lord, who then can be saved?", Jesus, said that with God all things are possible. I like this quote too: "God does not consider what you once were, but what you henceforth have begun to be." (St. Bonaventure) "In life's long day and death's dark night, O Gentle Jesus be our light." (Fr. Faber) I also like to remember what for me is the most important message of all of Our Lady at Fatima: "My Immaculate Heart shall be your refuge and the road that shall lead you to God" (Our Lady of Fatima, 13th June 1917)
This is so rich and so true. We are all blessed by this. I hope Peter will take these words to heart.
Thanks for this. I always tell God that I want to help souls. Perhaps all this suffering is helping Him to do so. Sometimes I feel He doesn't forgive me for past sins.
I was reflecting upon many things these past weeks …God brought me to look pretty intensively at myself. I will say I’m still going through this introspection. I found upon the dresser filled with many many religious prayer cards my wife has… thus one from Thomas Merton. Peter (and all) Maybe helpful to contemplate a bit in these advent time? My Lord God, I have no idea where I am going. I do not see the road ahead of me. I cannot know for certain where it will end. Nor do I really know myself, and the fact that I think that I am following your will does not mean that I am actually doing so. But I believe that the desire to please you does in fact please you. And I hope I have that desire in all that I am doing. I hope that I will never do anything apart from that desire. And I know that if I do this you will lead me by the right road, though I may know nothing about it. Therefore will I trust you always, though I may seem to be lost and in the shadow of death. I will not fear, for you are ever with me, and you will never leave me to face my perils alone.”
wow no coincidence's with God you would be convinced when I created the thread title it was created just for this very prayer
I am sure it does Sanctus. Matthew 18: 12-14 The Lost Sheep 18:12 ‘Tell me. Suppose a man has a hundred sheep and one of them strays; will he not leave the ninety-nine on the hillside and go in search of the stray? 18:13 I tell you solemnly, if he finds it, it gives him more joy than do the ninety-nine that did not stray at all. 18:14 Similarly, it is never the will of your Father in heaven that one of these little ones should be lost.
Sanctus, you could perhaps start by ...cleaning your apartment? Years ago, grief struck. For a time, I carried on as best as I could. However, one day it got too much and I fell to the floor in tears. There were meals to cook and a family to care for but at that moment, it seemed like the deluge would never end. Then, through my tears, I saw that the floors were dusty. I could not bear that any of the family should have a sinus attack because of the floors and so I got up and attacked the house. Honestly, the last thing I had any energy for was to give the house a thorough cleaning but that's what I did for the love of my family. When it was done, the grief had not lifted one bit. In fact, I had sobbed throughout the cleaning. But I found ...an inner muscle to carry the load. That day, I learned anew a lesson God had taught me before: When the darkness hits, get very busy.
