I'm praying to Our Lady of Grace for you. Here's a prayer to Our Lady of Grace, I think it might have actually been written by St. Padre Pio: Prayer to Our Lady of Grace O heavenly treasurer of all graces, Mother of God and my mother Mary, since you are the first-born daughter of the Eternal Father and hold in your hands his omnipotence, be moved to pity my soul and grant me the graces which I fervently ask of you. Hail Mary O merciful dispenser of divine graces, Mary most holy, mother of the Eternal incarnate Word who has crowned you with his immense wisdom, look upon the greatness of my sorrow and grant me the graces I need so much. Hail Mary O most loving dispenser of divine graces, immaculate Spouse of the Eternal Holy Spirit, most holy Mary, who have received from him a heart which is moved to pity by human misfortunes and which is constrained to offer consolation to those who suffer, be moved to pity my soul and grant me those graces which I await from you with full confidence in your immense goodness. Hail Mary O my mother, treasurer of all graces, refuge of poor sinners, consolation of the afflicted, hope of those who despair and most powerful help of Christians, I place all my confidence in you, being sure that you will obtain for me from Jesus the graces which I so much desire, if they are good for my soul. Hail Mary
Are there any prayer groups nearby you could seek out, Sanctus? I have a feeling it could help you. I miss my prayer group which disbanded when Covid hit. I must try to join one again. Praying for you.
The feeling I am damned came over me again tonight. Perhaps it is a cross that God wants me to carry. I've been to confession and am doing my best. It is a very heavy cross.
Hi Peter, You might like this from Father Thaddeus Doyle , a very simple, holy old Catholic Priest. There seems to be shocking number of people falling sick at the moment, with the virus and other things. (If you get a fever don't take Paracetomel of Ibrubrofen or anything that reduces the fever. The high temp is the bodies natural was of killing the virus. Actually you are better piling on the bed clothes and increasing the temp). 2 Corinthians 1 Praise to the God of All Comfort 3 Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, 4 who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God. 5 For just as we share abundantly in the sufferings of Christ, so also our comfort abounds through Christ. 6 If we are distressed, it is for your comfort and salvation; if we are comforted, it is for your comfort, which produces in you patient endurance of the same sufferings we suffer. 7 And our hope for you is firm, because we know that just as you share in our sufferings, so also you share in our comfort.
Peter this sounds like a classic case of scrupulousness. What does your priest say? If you do all the right things and still feel you are not forgiven that is truly NOT of God and sounds like the spirit of scrupulousness. If it were me I would bind it in Jesus's Holy Name and by the power of His Precious Blood and send it to the Cross. And i would keep doing it as much as I could and ignore the feelings. I'm no expert but I am tempted by scrupulousness from time to time because of my past grievous sins so I recognize the pattern.
Thanks AED. I always tell God and Jesus that I want to help souls, so perhaps this is the cross I must endure to do so. I trust there will be light at the end of the tunnel. I keep reaching out to Him. I must pray for courage to endure this storm. I ask Jesus to turn any struggles into love for souls and their salvation.
I also have had this happen to me. And I’ve brought it up during confessions…. Priests (some more gently than others) tell me this is a huge sign of lack of trust in God … if past sins… even very serious ones were confessed with sincerity and you received absolution and did your assigned penance, then you are forgiven. Period. Personally think it’s the evil one who resurrects these sins and seeds the doubts. It’s almost like back in the Garden… the devil tricks Adam and Eve to think they are on par with God… and they hide themselves. Don’t fall for the lie of the devil. This may have been suggested before but Maybe see if you can get a spiritual director to help walk through all of this? Peace
Leave the past to God's mercy Live the present in God's love Leave the future to God's providence My sinful past shocks me to the core and often makes me weep with sorrow. I have had to leave my past in the hands of the Lord and make reparation to Him by loving Him now in the present moment
I feel very abandoned by God and nothing seems to help. I was at mass this evening and received Holy Communion but I still feel rejected. I'm worn out from it. I hope God will shine his light again because I am in terrible darkness.
Sanctus, as AED suggests this does sound like scrupulosity. I fear sometimes that I might be attacked at the point of death and reject Jesus Christ. However, if we have a devotion to the Most Holy Virgin Mother, Refuge of sinners, we have assurances that Mary will assist us at the point of death. I know that the bar is set very high and that Jesus said we should try to enter by the narrow gate for many will try but will not be able to. However, Jesus is also loving and compassionate. Meditate on the good thief on the Cross who Jesus told would be in Paradise that very day with Him. The fact is that you want to do God's Holy Will. Intention is everything. God searches our hearts and he knows us. With your whole hearts turn to God and He will blot out all your sins (Acts 3:19) I remember talking to a friend who is a priest about salvation. He said something which in a way was a conversation stopper. In a matter of fact way he said, "we'll have to go where ever God sends us". But it made me think a lot about it. It was a very trusting attitude. As Padraig said recently, we have to be humble and become like children. We just have to trust in our Heavenly Father and our Divine Redeemer. God is good. When you think about it, as Frances Hogan said, when we die we are locked into the Divine Will. We have no control. While we do have some control we need to tread thorny path of prayer, sacrifice, trying to do God's will, of praying for the grace of final perseverance. Because you are trying to do God's will you are well on the way to living in the Divine Will. God doesn't count the magnitude of the outcome of our deeds but the sincerity of intentions and that we do it for love of Him (I know, I need to preach this to myself also!). I like to think about prophecy made by Saint Elizabeth's husband, Zechariah, about his son John the Baptist - the forerunner of the Messiah Jesus Christ: ... for you will go before the Lord to prepare His way, to give His people knowledge of salvation by the forgiveness of their sins. (Luke 1:68-79) God will for give your sins. You just need to trust. Some have found a way to even be confident about salvation. I will try to post on that later. If it is a case that you are having difficulty confessing sins, then you need to keep searhing to find a priest you are comfortable with. Also Sanctus, I think these words from Pope Benedict XVI on salvation and being forgiven are so consoling. They were posted by Padraig I think in another thread.
Sanctus, you seem to have been suffering like this for quite a long time. I think it's important that you take care of your physical health also. Do you live with or get support from your family? Have the medical people suggested any possible reason such as depression or anxiety? Eating well and healthily, having some emotional support from family or a support group, getting out into the fresh air and getting some exercise, taking up swimming, doing a 'park-run', joining a choir or something you are interested in, joining a group like a mens' shed, or a volunteer conservation group or a book club in the local library, volunteering at a Food bank etc etc are all things which may keep you active and productive during the day and help take your mind off negative ruminative or intrusive thoughts. This is the start of a new year and could be the start of you saying you will go to bed every night having done one new or productive activity every day. When you are not in employment and having the demands of structure we also lose out on social interaction: meeting people at the bus stop and in work or college. We can become isolated and actually have too much time to 'think.' Perhaps you should continue with Mass and prayers but instead of pondering why you feel like this, concentrate more on establishing a physically active and nutritionally healthy routine. Look out for some local activities where you can interact and work alongside some others and aim towards securing even a part-time job, even if it seems not too fancy -it's just therapy and a starting point. Take any medical advice which medical specialists have given you. Sometimes when we are down it all seems like so much effort but the longest journey starts with a single step. If we live in a big city it can be harder to make friends and find activities because everybody is just rushing past. In a smaller place sometimes we can be isolated because of poor transport, but there can be things going on if we ask around: mens' sheds, library groups, walking groups, water colour classes, language classes, etc etc. I think you should try a few things and you may discover a new interest. But it is important to be out mixing with people and getting that human contact and warmth. God loves us, but he shows it through other humans. Our contact with others is an opportunityfor God to give us a smile, a witty answer, share a piece of news or useful information, show us beauty in the faces of his creatures, etc etc I will be praying for you, Sanctus, but please let God help you in more practical ways to relieve your pain.
Dearest Sanctus, I too am wondering about my sins and whether they have a part to play in my sufferings. My sufferings have increased today! I wonder why God allows me to live, surely the sufferings I have encountered in the past 30 plus years, (especially the last 5 years) , have been enough to placate Gods anger. However I am called to suffer anew and with an intensity that has caused, a near spiritual breakdown, as I have not been able to pray a Dominican rosary today nor the Chaplet of St Michael the only prayers I have prayed are my half an hour morning prayers and the seven sorrows rosary. This is a terrible suffering as it involves one of my children. I do not want to continue with this suffering, I want God to take me home now. I envy the dead so to speak. I gave myself to the sorrowful Mother Mary many years ago and asked her for sufferings that would placate her most sorrowful Heart. She has did this and I have felt with each sorrow I experience a strength to carry her sufferings, however, about 2 months ago after much pain, I said to Mary please let me also feel your joys as well, as I felt I was drowning in sorrows, with each prayer I prayed and with each new suffering. The Lord gave me many strengths to withhold His peace in my heart over the last few years, however, I believe I knew, some suffering was to come that would be overwhelming and I halted because I knew it would be too much for me to bear. That suffering happened today! I have been beside myself with a grief that is overwhelming. With a feeling that I don't want to continue on. I want to escape this maddening pain. I want only heaven. Whether the Church and the world get their act together and recognise the truth of Jesus, has no real bearing on my personal pain,. My pain consists of insanity gone mad and a future with these perspectives of one of my children holds a very bleak future for me. Lord have Mercy on your and my soul, now. Amen. Mary mother of Jesus Christ of Nazareth, be a mother to Peter/Sanctus and me right now. Amen God Bless. I know the Lord is working right now and I praise and glorify Him. I thank you Lord for your great Glory. Please pray for me, Peter
Caroline i am praying for you this morning and will keep you on my list. The sufferings we endure from our children are often unendurable and yet we endure them by God's grace. You and Our Mother of Sorrows are very very tied very closely. I pray today for consolation for you.
…I, too, feel as though I’ve been drowning in an oppressive ocean of anxiety, depression and despair, for decades. It’s minute to minute, and always debilitating. I pray for Heavenly relief for all here, myself included. I once heard of cloistered nuns or monastic friars, who do nothing but pray. I wish I could find these people, and contact them with my prayer intentions.
