I've discovered a cycle of sin, how do I break it?

I am not a cradle Catholic and was raised in a very secular house hold so I had little training in the proper formation of ones thinking in regard to these matters but this is what has worked for me.
If you are anything like me you will have to begin by appealing to God to really overhaul and change your thinking on women. What happened for me was that I became very aware that every time that I look on a woman or the image of a woman and lustful thoughts enter into my mind that I am objectifying, abusing, and denigrating what God has created for our good. Correct these thoughts by telling yourself that this person is created in God's image.
Confess these thoughts when you act on them and also when you don't.
Our society has always objectified sexuality but it has become so out of hand that as a man I can count on seeing images of women at least several times per day either in media or online and even going to the grocery store that are intentionally meant to lead us to sinful thoughts. Yoga pants anyone? Understand that your enemy is placing these things in your path to make you stumble and that he takes great pleasure in it. Take them as an opportunity to build character by meeting the challenge.
Understand and fix in your mind that giving into these thoughts is effeminate. God wants masculine men. He tells us that effeminate men will not inherit the Kingdom of Heaven. Masculinity means sacrifice and discipline not giving in to our base desires.
This means that I have to guard my eyes and not hesitate to turn off, look away, and most of all avoid places where I know I will see these kinds of images. As men, most of us tend to be very visual. In my case, I can see an image and have a mental picture of it in my mind for years to come if it brings me pleasure. Just like Pavlov's dog I can recall that image over and over. This can serve us well if we master it for good but can be a bit of a curse when it comes to things which I have a tendency to idolize and boy do I have that tendency.
I am not a prude and obviously believe that our sexuality is God given. It can become for us something which leads us into increasingly base activities however if we do not master it and this is exactly what the enemy wants for us. To deny our divinity as the pinnacle of Gods creation and design.
What I do when I have lustful thoughts is to appeal to God and often my Patron Saint, look away, I begin to sing either openly or in my mind Ave Maria, and I immediately take myself out of the situation by doing a physical activity. This can be anything.
I was confessing this recently and a Priest gave me some counsel that another Priest was using while they were in seminary to get past these thoughts. He was learning Latin at the time and so he would carry a small notebook with him everywhere. When he had lustful thoughts he would first appeal to God, and then begin writing his Latin lessons out in his notebook. Breaking the cycle of his thoughts by physically doing something else and focusing his attention elsewhere.
Above all do not become discouraged when you fall. Take corrective course by going to confession as soon as possible, not receiving our Lord's sacrifice when not in a state of Grace and praying for Purity.
Remember, nothing worth doing is easy.

 

I'm coming at this from a different angle RW...

Do you have many friends of either sex?

 

Great advice and very practical as well
Sometimes I get a very horrid thought from the pit of Hell and offer it up in reparation for sins and blasphemies committed against the Immaculate Heart of Mary and the Sacred Heart of Jesus
It works against the devil lol

 

Yes, I used to have exclusively male friends, now I have a fair amount of female friends. Both of these our long distance the male friends used to go to high school with me, now all, or the vast majority of them headed out to college or university in various other parts of British Columbia, they're all secular, one of them is from a Catholic family and his mother works at the parish, (the same one I go to every Thursday for Adoration and confession.) but I don't think he practices the Faith, I could be wrong though, I'm not going to judge. Because these friends are secular, I don't speak with them often as I suspect they may not understand my issues and what-not, and may even be offended by some of the stuff I believe and hold-to. I do invite them over on the anniversary of my Marian Consecration (The Feast of the Visitation) as way to try and evangelize them, and I may try and invite them over to more events sometime in the future.

My newer friends, only two of them are male, the rest are female. On top of that one of these males friends I've ceased communicating with, we got separated due to various things that happened online, I see him on CAF, and been wanting to PM him and let him know I'm on there too, but I never seem to find the opportunity to do so. All these friends are Christian, and the vast majority of them are Catholic, all these people are online friends, one of them is on here, my online communication with them is much more frequent.

 

Thanks for your detailed reply RW, Sorry for asking you unusual questions, but I have met and worked and prayed with many people over the years who have struggled with addictions and compulsions. Very often the root cause may not be what one would think.

I am keeping you in prayer. One more q for you. Do you have any digestive / stomach problems?

 

Yes, I'm lactose intolerant, and in the past, I used have a really irritable stomach and bowls, though since my reservation I haven't been having that problem much anymore.

Please pray also for my anger issues, and cynicism, they also probably have a lot to do with this.

 

Hi RW, sorry to see you go even if only for a few months, I have been praying for you and would like to correspond with you for another little while. If you care to send me your email address by pm on here we can continue or not.

God bless with your spiritual direction and your uni course.
BC

 

Thank you, I will.

 

Please come back soon as you can!

 

I will be returning in a bit, we're going to be having our vacation this week. After our vacation, I will try and come back and discuss things although I may still be busy with a few other things is summer comes to an end.

 

Good, come back soon! We missed you!

 

I’ll try and start discussing things again tomorrow. In the meantime keep praying for me, things have gotten really bad here, I did a lot of bad things, am now really angry at myself as well as a lot of other people. I wish I wasn’t like this, I wish could stop, but right now, I can’t even hate sin as much as I should, I wish I could really hate it and despise it.

But instead I’m just sick of the fact that I’m not sick of sin. I really want this to stop.

 

Oh, honey. I messed up pretty big this week, too. Husband and work stuff. Just frustrated and tired. Keep going, man. Give yourself some Adorecast time. Divine Mercy Chaplet. And Sacraments. Praying!

 

I'm going to try fasting, I'll be fasting everyday except for weekends, feast days, and an upcoming trip in September.

Does anyone have any ideas on this, and other ways to help overcome sin?

 

Adoration definitely.

Sometimes the mistake we make might be that we do too much. Our faith and seeking becomes like a laundry list of do's that we need to tick off to feel that we are right in the eyes of God. This was me until I discovered Adoration before the Blessed Sacrament. When I first began Adoration, it was rather hard to just be still. I have a tongue that will outlive every other part of my body. Many days, I just made a mess of things - instead of being quiet, I out-talked God. Soon, I wasn't too keen on Adoration because for me it didn't seem to yield the results others saw in their lives.

But just before Lent this year, I began to feel an overwhelming pull towards the book In Sinu Jesu. I just had to have it. I didn't know why except that the two times before when I felt this way towards 2 other books - Come Be My Light (St. Teresa of Calcutta) & Diary of My Soul (St. Faustina), when I began to read them, I was taken on a stunning, humbling spiritual journey. So, I did all I could to get In Sinu Jesu in time for Lent but failed. Undeterred, I prayed about it.

A day or two before Lent, I stumbled upon this website, Daughters of St. Philip Neri (http://daughtersofspn.blogspot.com/) where selected excerpts from In Sinu Jesu were posted. This would have to do, I thought to myself, a bit disappointed.

Boy, did I underestimate God.

Though the In Sinu Jesu posts seemed few, it took me a few days to get through meditations on just one entry. Every day seemed to yield something new in one same post. It was a miracle for me.

But the greater miracle was that I began to seek Adoration time like never before. I no longer go to it looking for signs and effects. I go because I know God wants me there - whether I am in a quiet mood or when my tongue just gets ahead of me. When I'm at peace. When I am so upset I spend all my time yelling in my heart. I just go.

I live very far away from a church. So Adoration for me has to be via a live link to a church or chapel. There are a few. Mine is to the Divine Mercy Chapel in Poland.

It has changed my life.