In danger of relapsing...

As the anniversary (Jan. 18th) of the turning point in my struggle with sexual sin approaches, I find myself in danger of relapsing, after months of being free from these sins, I keep falling back into these sins; this morning was the 4th or 5th times I've fallen. I need to go to confession, but I can't until after Jan. 18th.

Please pray that I don't relapse but make it to confession and continue to be free and advance in my spiritual life. These sins may especially undermine or outright stop my plans of possibly running for mayor in my town, which in and of itself may be a big potential for me to grow in virtue and holiness; I can see a lot of opportunities available for my spiritual growth if I become mayor, like growing in authentic masculinity, and practicing bearing my cross more to name a few.

Please pray...

 

Praying for you RW. I have relapsed too in something.

 

I hate to be a wet blanket, but before you consider running for mayor, there is something to consider. In Maryland, there is a Municipal League. It is an association of Maryland cities and towns. Of course, the mayors are involved in this. What I am getting at is that more than likely as a mayor, you will be up against the same political opposition that we have now . It's everywhere. But maybe you don't have that type of structure where you live, in which case you might have more freedom as an elected official.

 

Praying.

 

Praying that you overcome this sin, and have a period of deep discernment for your future.

 

I’ll add you to my Rosary intentions today RW.

 

Once you have truly repented of the sin it is ok if you relapse. It is being removed but takes time. Marino Restrepo said this. Once you have repented that is all you need to do. God will take care of the rest/

 

If it's any consolation, the past 48 hours I've been periodically hit with intense barrages of unsettling dream images and un-holy imagery. All unasked for and not dwelt upon.

 

St Paul writes in Romans that for those who love God ALL things work unto good. All things ,even our sins. Viewed from one perspective I view my entire 65 years as a total and complete disaster, relapse after relapse. A complete waste of grace and space. No doubt about it. However these disasters have certainly served to keep my nose to the ground which is priceless. Being a failure has a lot to recommend it.

From time to time I dip into little Marian Messages in the little Blue Book and I came across a lovely one from Our Lady thanking me for my, 'Heroic efforts' I never thought of it that way before. I am still in there slugging away, not giving up. I suppose that is heroic. Sad but admirable in a way. I have nothing to boast about certainly but I have never walked away, never given in. That's something.

https://www.catholicexorcism.org/post/exorcist-diary-119-she-will-come

'It was a very tough case. The young woman was possessed by hundreds of demons with Satan himself personally leading them. But the more difficult the case, the stronger the graces God gives. In this case, I knew that we would need the very best God could send.

We were coming close to the end, after countless hours of ugly and painful sessions. The demons were getting weaker and were now more obedient, much to their dismay. I commanded them, in the name of Jesus, to tell us, "When will you leave and by what means?" The demons reluctantly responded with a date two weeks hence and said, "She will come."

Everyone in the room knew who "she" was. The demons would not say the name of the Mother of God. Her name, like that of her Son, is itself holy.

The day finally came and the moment approached. The room grew silent and the possessed woman said, "She is here." As the Virgin quietly moved closer, the demons began to thrash wildly. She said nothing but the radiant light of Christ shining through the humble handmaid of God was overpowering.

Satan himself screamed. After screaming and thrashing several times, the Prince of Darkness left. It was over.

Now, I ask all of the possessed to consecrate themselves to the Mother of God as part of the healing process. We ask Mary not only to cast out the demons but to protect the afflicted person for the rest of their lives, until she welcomes them into the Kingdom.

The Gates of Hell will not prevail against the Church, or against its Mother.'

 

May Our Lady cover you with her Mantle and the Holy Spirit pour fortitude and self-control into your soul!

 

What I treasure about the above testimony in Padraig's post is the way Our Lady delivers "the crushing blow": not with words of authority, nor with a display of manly strength, but simply in the purity of her silent, maternal loving presence!

Nothing needs to be said. Her presence speaks volumes! I love you, Dear Lady!

Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our death. Amen!

 

I'll consider that, all I know so far is the basics; I am willing to fight though, if I can.

 

Praying for you RW.

Saint Michael the Archangel,
defend us in battle.
Be our protection against the wickedness and snares of the devil.
May God rebuke him, we humbly pray;
and do Thou, O Prince of the Heavenly Host,
by the Divine Power of God,
cast into hell Satan and all the evil spirits
who roam throughout the world seeking the ruin of souls.

 

Please keep praying, it’s getting worse!

 

Lord, come quickly!! Please help this child of yours who is struggling so hard. We believe in you, trust in you and love you.

 

You are in my prayers today, RW! Focus on the immense Love Jesus has for you personally as shown in all that He suffered.

Washed in the Blood of the Lamb!

 

Went through a similar situation to you a couple of years ago, RW. There was an area in my life that I wanted to surrender to God but it seemed to be getting worse. What I realize now was that I was going through a sort of purification and I no longer struggle with that issue today, in fact it seems to have disappeared. Don't lose hope, the help is coming. God knows you want to advance in this area of your life and will answer your prayers.

 

You are getting carried away with all this. It is unhealthy. Trust in God. It's not the Falling Down that is important .It's the getting back up again.

Fear of sin like this is actually worse than the sin itself. It shows lack of confidence in God's Mercy.

Catch yourself on. Get back in there. If you fall, you all fall. Dust yourself of start all over again.

 

Will do, that's one of the benefits I see of running for mayor, if it's the Lord's will for me; I'll have to surrender to Him completely and repeatedly make leaps of Faith and be on my toes and not have time to worry be scrupulous.

I'll finally be on the front lines in this small theatre of war here.

 

A wonderful ambition.