Alas, Laramie hits the nail right on the head, again. https://theweltgeist.substack.com/p/the-epidemic-of-wayward-trad-children The Epidemic of Wayward Trad Children You can't save them all. Laramie Hirsch Father vs son: “King Arthur and Sir Mordred at the Battle of Camlann”, by William Hatherell “For as long as I can remember critical thinking has not only been labeled as uncool, but down right dangerous. The result is that most people today are really bad at it, like helpless passive bus riders being shuttled around on the information superhighway. They pretend to have opinions, but in actuality their entire personality is built around a heavily regulated plagiarism scheme. As soon as the source of their opinions (aka the Bus Driver) decides it is time a certain opinion is no longer useful they switch lanes together without a second thought. It’s quite impossible to have meaningful conversations with someone like that, and as a result we have an ultra-ironic epidemic of loneliness in a world that has never been more crowded.” - Kalihi Valley Druid, “The Shutdown” We Traditionalists are so very lucky. Whatever we’ve been through, whatever our journey, we found our way into this place with Christ. One way or another, we exercised those critical thinking skills, avoided the broad path of everyone else, and we pulled off a decent life. Perhaps we had a sinful youth. Perhaps we had a wicked family. Maybe, as we grew up, we saw all our teenage friends fall into drugs, depression, and death, but we pulled the lucky straw, survived, had a family, and thrived in spite of it all. Everyone else may have stayed on that bus--even as the bus driver was aiming to drive it off a cliff. But we kept a good head on our shoulders, made the right decisions, and had a successful “parenting phase” of our lives. But then, suddenly, our little ones got old enough to vote and go to war, and we suddenly find out they hate how we brought them up. They hate going to church. They hate Christianity. They hate us. They get a septum piercing and move in with a lesbian in a city somewhere. They’ve disappeared into some meth adventure and now live in a tent under a bridge, their lifespan reduced to only a handful of years. Maybe their lives are materially fantastic, but they just hate you and everything you’ve ever stood for. Your children apostatized. Your children disowned you. They can’t get far enough away from you. I am willing to bet that this is happening or has happened to a LOT of my readers. I mean a LOT. In many spheres of my personal and public life within the last year, the incidents of Trad families with wayward-leaning children has grown to at least a dozen. It is my belief that the Traditionalist Christian society in America (not just Catholics) is experiencing a very big epidemic of kids who are disowning the faith of their parents--or even the parents, themselves. This is such an enormous tragedy. You’ve climbed over mountains of pain and passed through crucibles of fire to find the peace of Jesus Christ. You only want to do the right thing. You end up marrying, and you have a good batch of children. You pour your heart into them. They are the very purpose of your existence--your reason for being. All of your happiness depends upon their success. You sacrifice and give up the things you loved doing. You do with less so that you can give them nourishment. You modify your behavior and become boring and wholesome for them. You probably even homeschool them, teach them, encourage them. They are in your thoughts most of the day. You pray for them, and you teach them to pray. You warn them about the evils of the world, how your little family is surrounded by orcs, goblins, and devils. You take them to church, drive them to church functions, keep a wholesome setting throughout their childhood. Then they turn 18 and have lots of cocaine-fueled gay sex. Or something like that. Trad Christian Parents Are Gaslit “Children are the anchors of a mother’s life, but when they turn unruly, they drag her down to the depths.” - Sophocles, Antigone “How sharper than a serpent’s tooth it is to have a thankless child!” - Shakespeare, King Lear Traditionalist Christian parents are being gaslit about this. They think they are the only ones who are going through this betrayal. They dare not open up about it in any obvious way to their friends or community. They are shamed, and “they deserve to be ostracized.” So they think. But the reality is that this is happening EVERYWHERE. Absolutely everywhere. In spite of the endless measures taken to ensure their success, enormous numbers of the Traditionalist kids end up hating their upbringing. Countless numbers of Generation Z (1997–2012) and Generation Alpha (2013–mid-2020s) despise what you did for them. You are not alone. There is an army of them. I can’t help but think that the 2025 horror movie, Weapons, is some sort of a metaphorical acknowledgement of this phenomenon. Why did this happen? Maybe it was the culture. They are targeted by endless psy-ops, after all. Maybe it was an error in their upbringing. Maybe it was you. None of that is relevant to what I’m about to say, however. Because you, ultimately, cannot control them. These are not your puppets. You’ve made other people than yourself, and these people have free will. When they get old enough, they will decide to do whatever they want with their lives. And ultimately, all you can control is you. And how have you been in dealing with all of this? You, like all of the other parents who are keeping this a secret, feel confusion, anger, grief, and no small amount of shame. “I worked so hard to raise up little angels to populate Heaven. Instead, I begat Mordred, and he wants revenge against me.” But you are not crazy--this is real, and it’s a pattern. The entire community is struggling with this, and it is a situation particular to us and our generation at this time in history. This thing that’s happening with our kids is not a freak accident, and it’s not just your family. This is a generational crisis that is specifically our problem. Our challenge. And even saints and prophets lost their children to the world. You think your family is a cautionary tale? That this is your secret scandal? You’re grieving over the loss of an entire vision of your family’s future. You questioned every decision you made, every sermon you let your kids hear, every book you handed them. You don’t even have a vocabulary for how to describe this to others. And you certainly have no Plan B. How can you even come out of this? You remain silent and invisible. You’re infected with a curse, and you’re slowly being destroyed. The Coping Mechanism IS the Solution “A father that whippeth his child shall have him kind; A father that loveth too much shall have him unkind.” - George Herbert (1593–1633), Jacula Prudentum “How much sharper than any pain is the ingratitude of children, who repay years of care with contempt.” - Seneca, On Anger “A foolish son is a grief to his father, and bitterness to her that bare him.” - Proverbs 17:25 You’ve changed diapers for fifteen years. So much of yourself is wrapped up in this tribe, this project. But try to understand: obsessing over this “project” is, in a way, narcissism. Yes, you have duties to fulfill, and it’s your job to love your kids. But to idolize your kids and your tribe—like a god that you worship—to the point that it destroys you if you fail to pass on your legacy—that, I say again, is narcissism. We cannot let ourselves be eaten alive. We cannot flagellate ourselves to the bone. These people whom you brought into this world made their choices. You gave them the best shot a kid could get in the 21st Century. They should be so lucky. Instead, they squander everything you built for them. They destroyed your legacy plan. con’t
Con’t And that is the problem. At some point, your kids are no longer your legacy plan. At some point, they are not your responsibility. Even Genesistells you that your kids move away and become something beyond you. And even the saints have something to say about this: The father lets the son go, even though he chooses wrongly. He does not restrain or chase him, but he watches and waits with hope. - The story of the Prodigal Son, Luke 15:11-32 “You have given your children roots; now give them wings. Let them depart, that they may learn to cleave unto the Lord in their own conscience.” - St. Ambrose “Do your best to form them well… but when they are grown, cease your fear, and let your prayers follow them.” - St. John Chrysostom Perhaps they’ve turned other siblings against you. Perhaps they’ve even poisoned your own spouse against you. Let go. If there is no loyalty, holding tighter will only hurt you and further strain your relationship with them. It is a time for a new chapter of your life. Parenting is over (for now, anyway), and it is time to focus on other endeavors. This is not the end of your life. It is the beginning of a new chapter. If they do not want to be a part of it, that is their loss. You gave them every chance. There is no need to be bitter. Maybe they gave in to temptation. Maybe they gave in to 21st Century FOMO*. But they may be back some day. You are still the leader, should they return to you for sage wisdom or guidance. Perhaps they will be the Prodigal Son and return to the faith of their youth. But you’ve since moved on to other missions. God did not tell you to succeed. He did not say He would judge you based on the results. He only wants you to try and do your best. That is the cross you bear. Your children have crosses of their own. You’re the grown up, here. You have the ability to both love and mourn at the same time. But you must continue as well. Your previous task is complete. It lasted two decades. But there is more for you to do in this world, now. You can only “work the garden,” but you can’t make the plants grow. That is beyond your power. Return to your sense of purpose. Have comfort and pride for a change. You undertook being a Christian parent in the 21st Century. It’s one of the hardest things people in this country are doing right now, and I feel that it is a feat that will remain unappreciated for decades—perhaps even after you are gone. Break the spell that isolates you, and reclaim your joy and focus. Love and pray for them—but continue to hold the line where you’re at. You are not done in this life. * FOMO - Fear of missing out Further Resources: Wayward Children & Catholic Parenting | Faith, Discipline & Prayer in Family Life ~ Fr. Ripperger Beyond Your Control - From Sigma Game by Vox Day Boring is Not a Virtue - by The Candid Clodhopper Prayer to St. Monica, patron saint of wayward children, difficult marriages, widows, mothers, wives, and victims of adultery and abuse: Exemplary Mother of the Great Augustine, you perseveringly pursued your wayward son, not with threats, but with prayerful cries to heaven. Intercede for all mothers in our day so that they may learn to draw their children to God. Teach them how to remain close to their children, even the prodigal sons and daughters who have sadly gone astray. Dear St Monica, troubled wife and mother, many sorrows pierced your heart during your lifetime, yet you never despaired or lost faith. With confidence, persistence, and profound faith, you prayed daily for the conversion of your beloved husband, Patricius, and your beloved son, Augustine; your prayers were answered. Grant me that same fortitude, patience, and trust in the Lord. Intercede for me, dear St. Monica, that God may favorably hear my plea. (mention your intention here) Grant me the grace to accept His Will in all things, through Jesus Christ, our Lord, in the unity of the Holy Spirit, one God, forever and ever. Amen. -pray the Our Father -pray the Hail Mary -pray the Glory Be
This reminds me of something that happened years ago in my own family. One of my sisters wanted to go on a holiday to Greece with her boy friend. My mother was not happy with this and asked me what she should do? I pointed out to her that my sister was and adult in her early 20's and was in a place were she had to be allowed to make her own decisions and mistakes. She was also a very good Catholic and could be trusted. So it turned out they got married and were each of them Faithful Catholics and went on to raise their won family. I don't think, looking back on it my parents had much choice in the matter anyway. There were seven boys and three girls and we were, all of us very,very strong willed indeed. But anyway you can't force people to be good. All you do is lead the horse to the water, you can;t force it to drink. We nearly all of us wandered from the Faith but we all of us came back again (with perhaps one notable exception). I think people sometimes need that time to wander.
Sometimes, I wonder if the reason why God allows certain souls to nearly completely self-destruct, myself included, before coming back to Him is that to try to repent from such a state builds humility and empathy in a person..... When I was young, I grew up learning of the catechism but very rarely going to church. I remember thinking now that my downward spiral started with an incident that I never should have done when I was 12, and I reached my lowest point at age 19. I was, in many ways horrible, arrogant, vain, lying, proud, lustful, perverse, hypocritical, self-righteous, unforgiving, mostly irreligious, hanging around with bad influences, some of the worst human qualities to have. And then, one day, it felt as though God showed me in my mind, like an awakening, how bad I was, and I sank into a deep depression over what I was.... I had a dark night of the soul that lasted for over a decade and ironically, it is beginning to lift now as everything is about to fall apart. I still worry greatly about the night I verbally answered a question under duress about what the blasphemy of the Holy Spirit actually was. Somedays, I still feel unforgivable... But in the past week or so since I completed the consecration to the Immaculate Heart, I have begun to thing that God and Mary are telling me that I worried in vain... I am now wondering if all the bad things I did and the suffering that came with it, was a way to purify my soul in the long run.... Because of what I did, I cannot claim but to be the least of God's creatures, and for those still struggling with the same issues, or those who are still blind to God, I don't feel the desire to judge or condemn them but rather to pray for them and to hope that they spiritually improve. I am even beginning to wonder if God is telling me that my one chief weakness/vice, being a complete movie fanatic who has seen a lot of morally good but also a lot of morally bad films, that my personal tastes in films kind of reflect how God sees humans, and I didn't realize it until this past week. I love morally upright films, appreciate the ones that are mostly good, appreciate the cautionary tone of gritty films warning about the pitfalls that come from various sins, love empathetic titles, but loath low, coarse, cynical things that celebrate grave evil. I didn't realize how God had touched even that.... I don't know. I'm almost 31 years old. I was bad in the past, not going to hide or justify that. I've dealt with near deadly childhood illnesses, addiction, pride, a dark night of extreme length, betrayal, allergies, the loss of friends, seeing family members struggle with illness, losing the one place I felt most comfortable at. My mother, who was 40 when she had me, even told me last year or the year before that she miscarried a few months before I conceived, which given my past makes me wonder why I am here and that soul is not.... I feel as though I don't deserve what God has given me. I am bad, I am still weak. But why does it feel as though he has chosen me? Others deserve it more than me.
Just a wee comment on scruples; St Philip Neri said that we should treat them with contempt. I'm speaking from experience and pray to St Philip daily and I receive his help.
I certainly could have given better spiritual example as a father, but I am very fortunate that my children have turned out quite sensible and balanced. They do not openly practice the Faith, but believe in getting married in a Catholic Church and in baptising their children. I pray and hope that, like myself, they'll embrace the Faith later on. The Gospel and the Fathers are very good on this. The Faith can't be forced, but hope and prayer might do the trick, even if it's at the eleventh hour, when Christ still offers the same wage. St Francis of Assisi advised preaching, 'sometimes in words': in other words, example and a mostly shut mouth might be best.
Your words describing your fall from grace could apply to many of us. The coming back is the miracle. A miracle of God's love and Our Lady's constant vigil until the decisive moment. We are not worthy to be chosen. None of us are. But our very misery draws Jesus to us. Every soul is specially chosen but so many dont respond. That we did respond I suspect is because we were blessed to have others praying for us. On earth and in heaven and in purgatory. Thats why we must never give up on others and keep praying. As for your past sins just thank Jesus for taking them away. For the grace of the Catholic Faith. " O Felix culpa" is what St Thoms of Aquinas says. It is our very sins that have brought our Savior too us. Don't brood on past sins. Rejoice that you are set free!!
The coming back is the miracle. A miracle of God's love and Our Lady's constant vigil until the decisive moment...
I live this anguish every day but I won’t rehash it. Getting to a place of peace and maintaining it has been extremely difficult. It’s mainly come by way of a daily offering of this cross of alienation and separation from them, for their eternal salvation, and a constant plea that none of them would be lost, that all of them would be saved.
Yes. I totally understand this. My plea too. " let none of them be lost" even if i dont live to see it.
One can lay the foundation. It is up to one's children to choose to build upon it or establish another foundation of their own choosing. My younger daughter, Therese, is an example of building rightly. DeSales University was the Catholic College of her own choosing. It's Catholic culture is adequate but not sterling; its nursing program is excellent and that was the career choice she embraced. But it is Catholic. And so she journeyed off. Geralyn and I were hesitant! In her first week, of her own volition, she checked out when the earliest weekday Masses were scheduled, 7:30 am. Off she went. Of the 500 or so first-year students, there were about 10 who chose to attend frequent daily Mass. They became best of friends and have striven to remain so to this day, some 10 years since graduation. Geralyn and I are proud of her. She enjoyed a successful nursing career for about 5 years, working part-time after Johnny and she were married. But when she became pregnant with their 3rd child, Rosie, Therese set aside her career to become a full-time Mom. Geralyn and I am proud of the choices she and Johnny have made, but we had to surrender it all into God's hands. We know of friends whose children wandered off, but now have returned to the Faith, and then there are those who have not returned. Mea culpa! Let us continue to pray for the prodigals! God will not fail them, crooked though their paths may be!
I don’t get messages from heaven. No direct heavenly guidance. But I do have strong gut instincts. I’ve learned to ALWAYS trust my gut instincts, and primarily my initial gut instinct. That initial gut instinct is right more often than not. (For the first six months of Bergoglio’s “reign” I had to violently fight my first gut instinct about him. But that gut instinct eventually was proven correct.) And my gut instinct is that I will never live to see it, I’ll never have a reunion of my family in this life. And I’m ok with that, if that’s what it takes for none of my family to be lost.
Kind of a strange article...It sounds so unloving. Imagine the Father of the prodigal son writing this before his son's return; would he, the next day, be literally running to greet his son at the gate and forgive him all with a big hug?
I could tell you a story on this topic; you will understand the point. As you know, I come from Croatia, a country that gained its independence in 1991 through the breakup of communist Yugoslavia and a bloody war caused by Serbian aggression from 1991 to 1995. Before that, we had 46 years of communism (1945–1991), and before that the horrifying World War II, during which, across all of Europe, there were no post-war crimes like those that occurred in former Yugoslavia. When the communists came to power, according to some estimates they killed around 500,000 Croats in a country that then had about 3 million inhabitants, in a very short period of time. People were killed both during the war and, most of all, after the war—around 600 priests, monks, and nuns were killed. Archbishop Stepinac, who is now Blessed, was imprisoned and poisoned there for years, and afterward placed under house arrest. Churches were closed, believers were thrown into prisons, etc. One of the leading figures of the secret service (OZNA) who came from my region was Josip Manolić. At around 25 years of age, by the end of the war he was already a deputy, and he was responsible for the murder of around a hundred civilians. People were killed in ways similar to Mexican cartels: tortured, ears, fingers, and noses cut off, wrapped in barbed wire, women raped, burned alive, or thrown into pits and caves, after which bombs were thrown in so that any survivors would be killed. His entire life he was a loyal communist, hated the Church, persecuted patriotic Croats, took part—so I believe—in the killing of priests and in the imprisonment of Stepinac, etc. During the war, after the breakup of Yugoslavia in 1991, he attempted a coup so that Croatia would lose the war, which he did not succeed in—thank God. Until 2020 he was still active, supporting the left, cultural Marxism, and modern leftists. At the age of 97 he remarried, and then he even survived COVID in 2020 and pneumonia. However, in December 2023, just a few days before Christmas, to the astonishment of both believers and non-believers, a photograph leaked to the media showing that, in a nursing home, at the age of 104, he had gone to confession—administered by the priest Alojzije Sekelj, who was born in 1945, the year when those same communists killed his father Zvonimir, a member of the Croatian army, just a few months before his birth, and two years earlier they had killed the grandfather after whom he was named. He himself(Manolic) asked for the confession as death was approaching. The left was in disbelief, and believers—among whom I include myself—were divided in their views. As glad as I was, I wondered why he did not tell the truth about what had happened and publicly offer an apology to the hundreds of families of the murdered and condemn the communist regime which still smolders today in its successors. However, he died just a few months later, at the age of 105, having confessed to someone he had hated his entire life. I believe that he repented of his sins and renewed his faith in God, whom he had opposed his whole life—but whether it was sincere or not, only dear God knows. I read a comment at the time that said: “Who knows who prayed this for him—perhaps his mother or blessed Stepinac for his tormentor—but that prayer saved him, because this confession was God’s grace, which he himself did not deserve…” And when you do everything right for your children, they may still go down a different path, but not a single prayer for a child offered to God will go unanswered. If prayer here saved a communist criminal who despised everything religious and divine, then God can, in a way known only to Him, save anyone at a time He considers appropriate. Blessed Archbishop Stepinac used to say: “When everything is taken from you, two hands will always remain. Fold them in prayer, and then you will be the strongest.” This is a photo taken after the confession (two years earlier he had been bedridden, apparently after COVID…).
This story reminds me of Rudolf Hoess the commandant of Aushwitz. In prison before he was to be hanged he asked for a priest and the priest who came to hear his confession had known him in the camp! Hoess sincerely repented and was absolved. He received Holy Communion and then went to his death. As you say someone prayed for him. Perhaps St Maximilian Kolbe who was martyred at Aushwitz.God's grace is very mysterious. I rejoice to hear these stories of God's mercy
How wonderful is the forgiveness of Christ! The cry for justice is humane; the offer of mercy is Godly!
I have lived through every single one of my family members leaving the Faith. First my parents, while they effectively abandoned me and my much younger siblings (age 9-13). Then my beloved siblings, one by one, as I finished raising them and desperately tried to keep them in the Faith. One of my sisters went from being my best friend to nearly hating me as she turned to drugs and promiscuity and years of life in jail. Every word I uttered to her about God was thrown back in my face for years. My other siblings drifted into very worldly lives and chose literally anyone else over a close relationship with me. I know well how the world rips families apart with its false promises. God had to teach me a lot during that time because my pride had to be knocked down quite a few pegs so I could reach out in love instead of harsh truth. It was when I started listening more, offering my love through service to my siblings, that they began to open back up to me. And they slowly regained their faith. God did all of it. I didn't know how to save my family, so He taught me the image of me getting on a bus, and instead of trying to place my siblings in there and take the driver's seat, I let God take the drivers seat, and walked to the back of the bus. Then one by one, my siblings followed me onto that bus, and God drove all of us home. My mother came back too, and then, only a couple years ago, after my siblings and I all fasted together for several weeks, my father came back too. God always wins, through teaching us love, humility, patience and prayer.
