This sounds like what Fr Timothy Gallagher was describing on EWTN. The spirit of desolation. He believes it is from the evil one and must be resisted.especially the temptation to not trust in God's mercy. I think you are tempted to doubt His forgiveness even though you go to confession and so are in a state of grace. I think this must be resisted. IMO.
I have felt the same way. It takes effort on our part to resist these doubts, fears, and desolate feelings. It’s work.
I agree. My own struggles have taught me as much. God's grace is always there but we need to fight evil in order to get to the point where we can access those graces. Yet, even in this, God sends us His Saints and angels to help us. So, we don't really have an excuse not to do our part by fighting and resisting.
Peter i listened yesterday to an amazing interview with a woman named Maria Izzo ftom Australia. "Decrevi determined to be Catholic" you tube site. The whole interview was wonderful but something she recalled Jesus saying to her (she is a Catholic mystic) really jumped out at me--for you. She said Jesus told her "Satan is the accuser. I am the Excuser." He showed her His immense profound love for every soul and His sorrow at seeing His love doubted or rejected. It just really touched me and I thought that maybe you have given in to diabolic thinking believing it is Jesus who accuses when He is all the time assuring you He is your Excuser before His Father. Then today I read something about PadrE Pio's rules for spiritual warfare on Catholic Exchange (link spirit-digest) and he describes having to resist those thoughts to the point of nearly going mad. Weeping in anguish. But he came out the other side. He said it was a struggle of wills and he was describing it to his spiritual director. I mention this as possibly helpful for you in your struggle.
The devil tries to convince me that I am evil and that I'm going to hell. These temptations are very difficult to deal with.
But Peter they ARE temptations--they are not TRUTH. Keep resisting. Place yourself in the Wounds of Christ. Ask Him to saturate you with His Precious Blood. Enlist your Angel and St Michael and every Saint you can think of and never never tire of telling Jesus you love Him and TRUST Him.
I had a dream last night that a priest put his hands over my head and gave me a blessing. A good sign of where I'm at hopefully!
Thanks HH. I feel under attack spiritually at the moment but hopefully it will pass. I was at mass this evening.
