Driving Br. Justin (Justin on top right-hand corner) (Br. Justin top right) People are like stained-glass windows. They sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when the darkness sets in, their true beauty is revealed only if there is a light from within.” ― Elisabeth Kübler-Ross I was asked to drive Br. Justin into town for an eye appointment on Friday. It was in Duluth, a town that is about 45 minutes away from the Monastery. His appointment was at 11:20, so while there was a lot of traffic, there were no delays. Interstate all the way, and Kaiser, the establishment we were going to is right of interstate 85. I enjoy driving Br. Justin. He is from Nigeria, a little younger than me, and has been in Monastic life since 1971. He has been with us a few years, and is now a member of our community. Something for which I am very thankful. I find hem to be very unique, in a world of very interesting people. He truly loves his vocation and is a man of very deep prayer. I find him an encouragement in my own monastic journey and have told him this. Now that I am older, even though I am still very much the clown when around people, I am less proficient at small talk than when younger. I also find that I cannot listen to music as much as I used to do when younger. Not that my taste is all that great. I also have grown tired of trying to listen to the talking heads on the radio, so as I age, I like the silence when driving. One of the beautiful experience when with Br. Justin, is the level of his silence, and the prayer that implies. He is relaxed, just sitting and being in the presence of God. Seeing him praying, is like I said, an encouragement for me to deepen my own relationship with the Lord. I get into the trap sometimes that I have to always be reading. Justin just prays. As I age I am beginning to understand. In my twenties I was into finding out answers to the mysteries of life, so I read a lot of philosophy, as well as theology, which was helpful at that time in my life, and still is, but my need for it lessens. Now I am into seeking to deepen my love for God, to simply be, and to allow grace, to soften my hard, fearful, heart. Which by God’s grace is happening. Though I still wrestle with God. I am not always sure what I am about. Yet God seems to always be seeking me, more than I do Him……grace another mystery, that I do not need to figure out. Br. Justin has a genuine smile, and is always ready to talk, but is just as happy if there is none. So the drive was very peaceful and prayerful for both of us. I guess we have both been on a long journey, the human journey, a common journey, yet lived in a Monastery. All human beings are very deep, complex, and beautiful beings made in the image of God. Some do not know this, but it does not take too much to see the light within them, even if dimmed by life’s often extreme traumas. I drive others and enjoy all of them. Some talk more, others less, but all are men of prayer, just different personalities and back grounds, some have past that are rougher than others. Sometimes I am very aware of the monks who have passed deeper into the Body-Of-Christ. When I think of them, I miss them all, but there are those with whom I was closer to, yet we are eternally bound by our vows I believe, and will always be together as a community in some way. Fr. James is still very much on my mind, as well as family members that have passed on. I remember often Janna, my sister’s daughter, and Sharlene's daughter Denise, Skip’s first wife, who both died way too young. I am learning to enjoy those I am with, and try to not take them for granted, which is not as easy as it seems. So when I was with Br. Justin, I did really enjoy his loving, calm, and centered presence. Yet I also know that there are depths to him known only to God, with all that implies. It is our commonality of experience that allows us to be able to understand each other some-what, but not all-what. The connection that I have with those I know, is, in reality, the same that I have with all of humanity, and that is what Christ Jesus, the Body-Of-Christ, is all about, that in each, we experience ‘Him’. As St. Paul said: “I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me”. (Gal 2:20) Until that is understood by me, and I guess by all of mankind, we will continue being sources of pain and suffering for each other, not knowing that it is Christ Jesus that we wound. Self-Love, as Jesus meant it is not easy, but does actually take a death to self. May we in this New Year, learn that more deeply, and consciously seek to live that out.—Br.MD
Thank you Brother I so enjoyed this. I live on my own so mostly the only others I get to talk to all day is my town dogs and I don't talk very much to them. At night I work with just one other person and try my best to limit m talk to him. When young replacements are on they are annoyed I don't really talk too much but I am happy with my choice. I talk away to Jesus Our Lady, the angels, the Souls in Purgatory and from time to time listen to the demons chattering away to each other. It seems to me if you talk to God who else should you really need to talk to. There was a an old Cistercian Monk Fr Eunan I used to work with years ago. He was a saint . He rarely talked it was like getting blood from a stone getting one word from him. I thought at the time it was maybe too much. Now , years later I appreciate were he was coming from. Deeper and deeper silence, the deeper the better.
Thankyou. Much to think about here. How blessed you are Brother Mark to live among such souls--other souls like yourself. Please pray for us. It is cold and hard out here. And the darkness grows.
This thread is comforting to me because I too feel the need for silence and a great weariness with words. The clamor of words everywhere I turn. Like Brother Mark I seldom listen to music any more. Latin chant and hymns soothe my soul. Secular music scrapes against it. When driving alone I am silent. Even Catholic radio is at times an intrusion. I do love to pray my Rosary CD while i drive. Long or short trips always the Rosary. I have wondered if this is age. I used to be quite wordy--literature major in college. Lots to say on all subjects. No more. For one thing i dont know anything. At last i realize i know nothing. Not even my own soul. But i know Jesus and He knows. So i rest in that. I dont need to know much. "Like a weaned child..." I rest in the arms of God.
I sometimes wonder about the Catholic Martyrs who were imprisoned for very long periods of times in Communist Countries for periods of time of even over thirty years.How I would love to talk to them about this. One thing I notice is that time and time again they turned to the rosary. I watch young people with Smart Phones with greater and greater sadness and concern. There was already so little space for God to speak. Now there seems to be none. So sad. I love to see young people high up on the mountains. They move so fast past me. Like angels swinging past. I shall go up to the mountains. From where shall come my help? My help is in the name of the Lord who made heaven and Earth.
There is no doubt the daily rosary is the key to holding on to ones faith today and going forward. Saints and popes have taught us as much. But first one must be in the state of sanctifying grace. One day, after the end of the world, at the general judgement, we will see how grace worked among the faithful from the beginning of time. All will be shown and the delight of the saints will be celebration for all eternity.
We talk about this need for silence in my little Secular Carmelite Community. We call it 'the sanctuary of the car". It is a time when there are not intrusions, I can turn off the radio and say my rosary and other prayers going down the road without interruption. I carry one of the 'ring rosaries' in the car. My sister asked me how I could pray the Rosary and drive at the same time, and I said "Well if someone was in the car with me I could talk to them and drive at the same time". It's the same thing . . .I totally understand the feeling of being silent. We are drawn to it, the silence fills out souls and hearts with the music of angels, and conversations of saints.
AED, You mentioned your growing comfortableness with silence. But then there are times you point out the lack of spiritual companionship within your family circle. In the growing darkness, have you few with whom to commensurate? Perhaps at the parish? I sense this is fairly common among MOG members: the lack thereof. Safe on the Father's Lap!
By God's grace I have friends who share the faith. I know them through the prolife movement and daily Mass and adoration. I am blessed. But my immediate family circle is not with me. They have left the faith. They are very secular and the social circle with my husband is all very secular. So it is a bit of a desert. It's kind of you to ask. Sometimes it does feel very lonely.
I suppose it will get lonelier and lonelier as we go on. My own sense of things is that most of our sisters and brothers in the Faith sadly are taking the easy path, the Path of a Sell out to the World. It cheers me up that the Blessed Trinity are a Living Community in constant communication. They are talking without talking in a constant hug of love. A good description of The Holy Family is a mirror or reflection of the Trinity in this hug of love. Although I have met some real saints in my life, living images of Jesus and Mary it is a rare enough event. But the thing about these people is that they leave an indelible mark on the heart of those they touch. They stay with us forever. I have been thinking of one in particular lately. He was an Irish Dominican Archbishop in Charge of the Church in Iran before the Ayotollah Komeini booted the poor man out. I was cheeky enough to ask him if he was in the State of Spiritual Marriage (the End Stage of Prayer) and he confirmed to me that he was. We talked about this for a while. Some people stay with you forever. They say everything they need to say even if they say nothing at all. Just being who they are says it all. Just looking around the congregation at Church in the morning says everything I need to hear all day. Just them being who and what they are.
The gift of aging I believe is that our energy is directed towards God, the world as we near our own going home, fades a bit I believe. Wonderful words, thank you. Peace Mark
If one prays, grace is there. Sr. Faustian stated that no matter our state, we should pray always. Thank you, my friend. Peace Mark
Beautiful picture, I do believe that many many people learn the importance of communion with God, as the mature and age. peace Mark
