How to be assertive, without being aggressive

It's now pretty clear to me that one of my biggest problems right now is anger, anger is interfering with my spiritual and moral development. With my efforts to develop authentic masculinity, anger stunts it by making it difficult for me to be assertive, because I'm worried that either I'll go too far, or else I'll get angry and than deliberately go out of my to go too far and attack the person or persons involved. I can handle things when I believe I can keep them on a rational level, but when there is a danger that I'll be "punished" for speaking or doing the right thing, that's when this concern and difficulty arises.

How do I be assertive without being aggressive?

 

Fasting

 

Wow! You're on the road to Wisdom watching Jordan Petersen. I love him. Perhaps he has a utube video on anger management?

 

I have kind of mixed feelings on anger in certain situations, I remebr two men tried to kill me one time and I fought back; I believe it was the anger that saved my life. . But I would guess 99% of the time better not. But there are occasions. Sometimes....

 

I personally think sometimes the reason why I get angry is that I have not asserted myself enough. I have kept things too hidden. So it is like a volcano erupting.

I think looking back on it we as children were all brought up to be, 'Nice'. Maybe too nice. So if we went into a restauraunt we would never complain even if they fed us rat poison. However over the years I am more apt to lay it all out.

Still both my grand fathers were angry men. Very,very angry men. My father was an angry man; so I suspect a generational spirit of anger. Fr Rippenger talks about this in one of his utube videos. I am praying about this.

I think one time people should have gotten very,very angry indeed was over clerical child abuse. The Bishops at least should have been in a rage. if they had been in a rage the cover ups would never have happened.

 

I have seen a few videos of his on anger, negative emotions, and other useful subjects.

I have to watch these videos a couple of times to get the content to sink in.

 

Yes. He's a genius.

 

RW, I hope this is not too personal a question but have you been Confirmed?

 

I’m always questioning....is what I’m angry about a just anger? I wish I understood that in a more detailed way....
After seeing the repeated church scandals and how even members of my family have left the faith because of it, I can’t help but feel my anger is just. How to deal with that anger is the other pressing delima.

I want the scandal outed to get rid of it and to prevent more unsuspecting victims. I worry less about justice...God will measure that out for all of us.

I just want my church back....and my family back in the church. I think that’s cause for just anger....my family’s salvation.... yes, it’s worthy....

Just what are the boundaries....?

I prayed today for wisdom from God about all of this....
God knows.....I sure don’t know.....

 

I too get angry at the Satanic culture unfolding all over the world, in the media, in many government leaders, in the clergy, in families, in the work place etc...... Yet, I have been prepared to see it all implode upon itself as prophecy has detailed it would be. So for me, my anger is in check by the fact that I expect what I see happening and the realization that we have not seen nothing yet. It is all part of the unveiling and the purification process that God is allowing going forward till the era of peace. I fully realize, I must suffer through it all and then find my peace in prayer. Its my only out going forward. Offering it all up is all I can do to keep my peace of heart. It starts in ones on family where ones own children, relatives, friends etc... have walked away from the truths of the faith to serve the lusts of the world and all its false passions and promises. For my part, I will continue to take it all to prayer, trusting and not worrying as St. Pio suggested, knowing this is the only way to have peace of heart throughout the storm.

 

Fatima...you’re right.... I feel the same...I know this is part of that unveiling...its part of His plan. My problem is partly feeling a responsibility vocalizing this apostasy....to expose it.

Are we giving consent when we are silent? Knowing it’s part of the bigger plan, do we just sit back and watch it play out? I honestly don’t know...?

Like you,I am offering everything up to get myself and my lost family into heaven. Nothing is right in life while my loved ones are so far from God. I’ll probably not live to see them return, but I absolutely trust God on His timing...His timing is always right.

 

Yes...there are some occasions Padraig....lol....and someone trying to kill you would fall into that category of “just anger”!!!!!!!

You must have had your Irish up to have survived two scoundrels!

Glad they didn’t succeed...or MOG wouldn’t exist!

 

Padre Pio sometimes got angry in the Confessional. In fact sometimes he chased people with angry words. Someone asked him one time if he did not fear that this would do harm? To which he replied, 'The good ones always come back!'

If we had all the answers to everything I suppose things would always be easy. But often I find it a struggle. I think Christ's words on the Cross often make me think.

'My God, my God why have you deserted me?'

But then Jesus goes on to say,

But thou O Lord are Holy, enthroned on the praises of Israel'.

So in the first place He trusts because God is Holy and so must know what He is doing. But secondly Christ also rests on Faith of others. Of the people of God. Life can sometimes be like that. We just don't know and rest on the the fact that God is God and people love Him. It's all the fue we have left in the tank , so to speak.

Perhaps God's answer is that we don;t have always the answers ourselves? I am so looking forward in heaven o having many, many things explained to me. Shown to me.

I was listening to a Jewish lady the other day , a Catholic convert, talking. . Her young brother had just died tragically. She was talking to a wise old Rabbi and asked him were her brother was now that he was dead? The old Rabbi went quiet for a while and said,

'I don't know. I have no idea what happens to people after they die. But I pray that God will give you some answers to this'.

Thank God we have the One True Faith were we are given the Great Answers to questions like this. But sometimes we find ourselves only with mysteries. Sometimes I think a true sign of how much we know is when we begin to realise at last how little we know.

I loved this book by a Jewish Rabbi I read one time. I must find time to read it again.

 

I think crisis is a time when we loose our certainties. When we are forced to walk in the dark. When everything, so to speak goes up for grabs. When, as Scripture indicates we are tried like gold in the furnace. A bit like Daniel going into the fiery furnace. They went into the fiery furnace and came out again because their Faith was strong. So they came out of the fire with an even stronger Faith than they went in.

So like Daniel we are being tried in the Fiery Furnace. A fire which will consume the evil but strengthen the Faithful. God has sent our Church the test to strenghthen and purify us. If we accpet good things from the hands of the Lord must we not accept that which appears to be evil?

 

Yes Padraig,

We are never going to have all these answers in this life....and we can only hope for God’s mercy when we don’t get it right...even if we mean we’ll.

I’m always praying for wisdom...more then anything. I’m very worried about poor judgement.

Just imagine, getting the answers to everything in heaven! Bet I’ll be very shocked about a lot of thing....just hope God’s merciful about my screw ups!

 

It’s a very fiery furnace...praying we all make it out...faith intact! And stronger!

 

God knows if we could shout to the top of our lungs what God has coming for our sinful generation, and do one bit of good, we would!! In the silence of my heart I hear, "its not your time yet", so I take it all to prayer, penance and study. I am content with that, as I know I must grow closer and closer and closer to our Lord and our Blessed Mother to acquire all the graces, courage, strength and fortitude God wants to provide at this time of preparation. So, on one hand I could get frustrated, but it is simply not our time to be heard. But, I sense it is not very far away. Heaven has spoke through its prophets what is and must take place to purify this world and knowing this, it will be up to each of us to provide the clueless, God's plan into the era of peace.

 

Please let me know when you get that calling Fatima....
I need to pray for more wisdom...I asked God at mass today. I need Him to open my eyes....

 

There seems to be nothing short of great evils that need to come before people are humbled and broken and have nothing left but reaching out for a God they have abandoned. Then by the grace of God he will open ears and hearts to repent and find him again in their emptiness. God will use us to assist those around when the time comes.